Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

We know not how far the readers of PUNCH may be inclined to approve so prosy an article as this in their pet periodical; but we have ventured to appeal to them (as the most sensible people in the country) against a class of shallow empirics, who have managed to glide unchidden into our homes and our families, to chill the one and to estrange the other.  Surely, surely, we were unworthy of our descent, could we see unmoved our lovely English girls, whose modesty was wont to be equalled only by their beauty, concentrating all their desires and their energies on a good match; or our reverend English matrons, the pride and honour of the land, employing themselves in the manufacture of fish-bone blanc-mange and mucilaginous tipsy-cakes; or our young Englishmen, our hope and our resource, spending themselves in the debasing contamination of cigars and alcohol.

* * * * *

CONDENSED PARLIAMENTARY REPORT ON THE MISCELLANEOUS ESTIMATES.

    Vide Examiner.

  MR. WILLIAMS—­objected—­
  SIR T. WILDE—­vindicated—­
  SIR R. PEEL—­doubted—­
  MR. PLUMPTRE—­opposed—­
  MR. VILLIERS—­requested—­
  MR. EWART—­moved—­
  MR. EASTCOURT—­thought—­
  MR. FERRAND—­complained—­
  LORD JOHN RUSSELL—­wished—­
  MR. AGLIONBY—­was of opinion—­
  MR. STEWART WORTLEY—­hoped—­
  MR. WAKLEY—­thought—­
  MR. RICE—­urged—­
  MR. FIELDEN—­regretted—­
  MR. WARD—­was convinced—­

* * * * *

TAKING THE HODDS.

On a recent visit of Lord Waterford to the “Holy Land,” then to sojourn in the hostel or caravansera of the protecting Banks of that classic ground, that interesting young nobleman adopted, as the seat of his precedency, a Brobdignag hod, the private property of some descendant from one of the defunct kings of Ulster; at the close of an eloquent harangue; his lordship expressed an earnest wish that he should be able to continue

[Illustration:  GOING IT LIKE BRICKS—­]

a hope instantly gratified by the stalwart proprietor, who, wildly exclaiming, “Sit aisy!” hoisted the lordly burden on his shoulders, and gave him the full benefit of a shilling fare in that most unusual vehicle.

* * * * *

Q.E.D.

“SIR ROBERT PEEL thinks a great deal of himself,” says the British Critic.  “Yes,” asserts PUNCH, “he is just the man to trouble himself about trifles.”

* * * * *

[Illustration]

ROEBUCK DEFYING THE “THUNDERER.”

    Roebuck was seated in his great arm chair,
        Looking as senatorial and wise
        As a calf’s head, when taken in surprise;
    A half-munch’d muffin did his fingers bear—­
    An empty egg-shell proved

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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