Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

With an intuitive knowledge of human nature, the great poet purposely uses the above objectionable word.  How could he do otherwise, or how more effectually, and less offensively, extricate Molly Brown from the unpleasant tenantry of the proposed under-ground floor?  Command invariably begets opposition, opposition as certainly leads to argument.  So proves our heroine, who, with a beautiful evasiveness, delivers the following expostulation:—­

  “Says she, ‘I am not dead, you fool!’”

One would think that was a pretty decent clincher, by way of a reason for declining the proposed trip to Giles Scroggins’ little property at his own peculiar “Gravesend;” but as contradiction begets controversy, and the enlightened poet is fully aware of the effect of that cause, the undaunted sprite of the interred Giles instantly opposes this, to him, flimsy excuse, and upon the peculiar veracity of a wandering ghost, triumphantly exclaims, in the poet’s words—­words that, lest any mistake should arise as to the speaker by the peculiar construction of the sentence, are rendered doubly individual, for—­

  “Says the ghost, says he, vy that’s no rule!”

There’s a staggerer! being alive no rule for not being buried! how is Molly Brown to get out of that high-pressure cleft-stick? how! that’s the question!  Why not in a state of somnolency, not during the “death of each day’s life; no, it is clear, to escape such a consummation she must be wide awake.”  The poet sees this, and with the energy of a master-mind, he brings the invisible chimera of her entranced imagination into effective operation.  Argument with a man who denies first premises, and we submit the assertion that vitality is no exception to the treatment of the dead, amounts to that.  We say, argument with such a man is worse than nothing; it would be fallacious as the Eolian experiment of whistling the most inspiriting jigs to an inanimate, and consequently unmusical, milestone, opposing a transatlantic thunder-storm with “a more paper than powder” “penny cracker,” or setting an owl to outstare the meridian sun.

The poet knew and felt this, and therefore he ends the delusion and controversy by an overt act:—­

  “The ghost then seized her all so grim,
  All for to go along with him;
  ‘Come, come,’ said he, ‘e’er morning beam.’”

To which she replies with the following determined announcement:—­

  “‘I von’t!’ said she, and scream’d a scream,
  Then she voke, and found she’d dream’d a dream!”

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.