Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

* * * * *

(H)ALL IS LOST NOW!

’Sir B. HALL is still Sir B. Hall.  Where is the peerage—­the “B-all and end-all” of his patriotism?  Really the Whigs ought to have given the poor dog a bone, considering with what perseverance he has always been

[Illustration:  STANDING FOR MARROWBONE (MARYLEBONE).]

* * * * *

When a person holds an argument with his neighbour on the opposite aide of the street, why is there no chance of their agreeing?—­Because they argue from different premises.

* * * * *

NOVEL SUBSCRIPTIONS.

Looking into an Australian paper the other day, we cast our eye over a list of subscriptions for the “St. Patrick’s Orphan School, Windsor;” which, after enumerating several sums, varying from 10l. to five shillings, ended with the following singular contributions:—­

    MR. BURKE—­A supply of potatoes. 
    A FRIEND—­Five pounds of beef, and a coat. 
    A FRIEND IN NEED—­A shoulder of mutton. 
    A POOR WOMAN—­A large damper. 
    AN EMIGRANT—­Ten quarts of milk. 
    AN EMIGRANT—­A frying-pan.

At first we were disposed to be amused with the heterogeneous nature of the contributions, but, on reflection, we felt disposed to applaud a plan which enabled every one to bestow a portion of any article of which he possesses a superabundance.  If, for instance, a similar subscription were began here, we might expect to find the following contributions:—­

    SIR ROBERT PEEL—­A large stock of political consistency. 
    LORD LONDONDERRY—­An ounce of wit. 
    LORD NORMANBY—­A complete copy of “Yes and No.” 
    COLONEL SIBTHORP—­A calf’s-head, garnished. 
    THE BISHOP OF EXETER—­His pastoral blessing. 
    LORD MELBOURNE AND LORD JOHN RUSSELL—­A pair of cast-off slippers. 
    MR. WAKELY—­A dish of Tory flummery. 
    DAN O’CONNELL—­A prime lot of

[Illustration:  REAL IRISH BUTTER.]

* * * * *

SONGS FOR THE SENTIMENTAL.—­NO. 7.

  Fair Daphne has tresses as bright as the hue
    That illumines the west when a summer-day closes;
  Her eyes seem like violets laden with dew,
    Her lips will compare with the sweetest of roses. 
  By Daphne’s decree I am doom’d to despair,
    Though ofttimes I’ve pray’d the fair maid to revoke it. 
  “No—­Colin I love”—­(thus will Daphne declare)
    “Put that in your pipe, if you will, sir, and smoke it.”

  Once I thought that she loved me (O! fatal deceit),
    For she wore at the dance the gay wreath I had twined her;
  She smiled when I swore that I envied each sweet,
    And vow’d that in love’s rosy chains I would bind her. 
  I press’d her soft hand, and a blush dyed her cheek;
    “Oh! there’s love,” I exclaim’d, “in that eye’s liquid glancing.” 
  She spoke, and I think I can still hear her speak—­
    “You know about love what a pig knows of dancing!”

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Project Gutenberg
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.