Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

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SIR,—­As the author of the facetious political essays in the “Morning Herald,” it is but due to you that I should candidly state the reason why my articles have, of late, so visibly improved.

In truth, sir, I am wholly indebted to you.  Feeling a gradual debility come over my facetiae, I tried several potions of the “New Monthly” and “Bentley’s Miscellany,” without experiencing the smallest relief.  “PUNCH” and his “Essence of Guffaw” were, however, most strongly recommended to me by my friend the editor of “Cruikshank’s Omnibus,” who had wonderfully revived after taking repeated doses.  I followed his example, and am now completely re-established in fine, jocular health.

I am, Sir,

THE “OWN CORRESPONDENT.”

Shoe-lane.

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Inestimable SIR,—­A thousand blessings light upon your head!  You have snatched a too fond heart from a too early grave.  My life-preserver, my PUNCH! receive the grateful benedictions of a resuscitated soul, of a saved Seraphina Simpkins!

Samuel, dearest PUNCH, was false!  He took Jemima to the Pavilion; I detected his perfidy, and determined to end my sorrows under the fourth arch of Waterloo-bridge.

In my way to the fatal spot I passed—­no, I could not pass—­your office.  By chance directed, or by fate constrained, I stopped to read a placard of your infallible specific.  I bought one dose—­it was enough.  I have now forgotten Samuel, and am happy in the affection of another.

Publish this, if you please; it may be of service to young persons who are crossed in love, and in want of straw-bonnets at 3s. 6d. each, best Dunstable.

I am, yours,

SERAPHINA SIMPKINS,

Architect of Tuscan, straw, and other bonnets, Lant-street, Borough.

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CAUTION.—­None are genuine unless duly stamped—­with good humour, good taste, and good jokes.  Observe:  “PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, price Threepence,” is on the cover.  Several spurious imitations are abroad, at a reduced price, the effects of which are dreadful upon the system.

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W(H)AT TYLER.

The following pictorial joke has been sent to us by Count D’Orsay, which he denominates

[Illustration:  TILING A FLAT.]

All our attempts to discover the wit of this tableau d’esprit have been quite fu-tile.  Perhaps our readers will be more successful.

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A MESMERIC ADVERTISEMENT.

Wanted, by Mons. Lafontaine, a few fine able-bodied young men, who can suffer the running of pins into their legs without flinching, and who can stare out an ignited lucifer without winking.  A few respectable-looking men, to get up in the room and make speeches on the subject of the mesmeric science, will also be treated with.  Quakers’ hats and coats are kept on the premises.  Any little boy who has been accustomed at school to bear the cane without wincing will be liberally treated with.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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