Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.


The iniquities of the Tories having become proverbial, the House of Lords, with that consideration for the welfare of the country, and care for the morals of the people, which have ever characterised the compeers of the Lord Coventry, have brought in a bill for the creation of two Vice-Chancellors.  Brougham foolishly proposed an amendment, considering one to be sufficient, but found himself in a singular minority when the House

[Illustration:  DIVIDED ON THE MOTION.]

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In the Egyptian room of the British Museum is a statue of the deity IBIS, between two mummies.  This attracted the attention of Sibthorp, as he lounged through the room the other day with a companion.  “Why,” said his friend, “is that statue placed between the other two?” “To preserve it to be sure,” replied the keenly-witted Sib.  “You know the old saying teaches us, ‘In medio tutissimus Ibis.’”

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[Illustration:  M]Mercy on us, what a code of morality—­what a conglomeration of plots (political, social, and domestic)—­what an exemplar of vice punished and virtue rewarded—­is the “Newgate Calendar!” and Newgate itself! what tales might it not relate, if its stones could speak, had its fetters the gift of tongues!

But these need not be so gifted:  the proprietor of the Victoria Theatre supplies the deficiency:  the dramatic edition of Old-Bailey experience he is bringing out on each successive Monday, will soon be complete; and when it is, juvenile Jack Sheppards and incipient Turpins may complete their education at the moderate charge of sixpence per week.  The “intellectualization of the people” must not be neglected:  the gallery of the Victoria invites to its instructive benches the young, whose wicked parents have neglected their education—­the ignorant, who know nothing of the science of highway robbery, or the more delicate operations of picking pockets.  National education is the sole aim of the sole lessee—­money is no object; but errand-boys and apprentices must take their Monday night’s lessons, even if they rob the till.  By this means an endless chain of subjects will be woven, of which the Victoria itself supplies the links; the “Newgate Calendar” will never be exhausted, and the cause of morality and melodrama continue to run a triumphant career!

The leaf of the “Newgate Calendar” torn out last Monday for the delectation and instruction of the Victoria audience, was the “Life and Death of James Dawson,” a gentleman rebel, who was very properly hanged in 1746.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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