Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

  Who’ll carry the link? 
    Said Wakley, in a minute,
    I must be in it,
  I’ll carry the link.

  Who’ll be chief mourners? 
    We, shouted dozens
    Of out-of-place cousins,
  We’ll be chief mourners.

  Who’ll bear the pall? 
    As they loudly bewail,
    Both O’Connell and tail,
  They’ll bear the pall.

  Who’ll go before? 
    I, said old Cupid,
    I’ll still head the stupid,
  I’ll go before.

  Who’ll sing a psalm? 
    I, Colonel Perceval,
    (Oh, Peel, be merciful!)
  I’ll sing a psalm.

  Who’ll throw in the dirt? 
    I, said the Times,
    In lampoons and rhymes,
  I’ll throw in the dirt.

  Who’ll toll the bell? 
    I, said John Bull,
    With pleasure I’ll pull,—­
  I’ll toll the bell.

  All the Whigs in the world
    Fell a sighing and sobbing,
  When wicked Bob Peel
    Put an end to their jobbing.

* * * * *

TRANSACTIONS AND YEARLY REPORT OF THE HOOKHAM-CUM-SNIVEY LITERARY, SCIENTIFIC, AND MECHANICS’ INSTITUTION.

    Collected and elaborated expressly for “PUNCH,” by Tiddledy Winks,
    Esq., Hon. Sec., and Editor of the Peckham Evening Post and
    Camberwell-Green Advertiser.

Previously to placing the results of my unwearied application before the public, I think it will be both interesting and appropriate to trace, in a few words, the origin of this admirable society, by whose indefatigable exertions the air-pump has become necessary to the domestic economy of every peasant’s cottage; and the Budelight and beer-shops, optics and out-door relief, and Daguerrotypes and dirt, have become subjects with which they are equally familiar.

About the close of last year, a few scientific labourers were in the habit of meeting at a “Jerry” in their neighbourhood, for the purpose of discussing such matters as the comprehensive and plainly-written reports of the British Association, as furnished by the Athenaeum, offered to their notice, in any way connected with philosophy or the belles lettres.  The numbers increasing, it was proposed that they should meet weekly at one another’s cottages, and there deliver a lecture on any scientific subject; and the preliminary matters being arranged, the first discourse was given “On the Advantage of an Air-gun over a Fowling-piece, in bringing Pheasants down without making a noise.”  This was so eminently successful, that the following discourses were delivered in quick succession:—­

    On the Toxicological Powers of Coculus Indicus in Stupifying Fish. 
    On the Combustion of Park-palings and loose Gate-posts. 
    On the tendency of Out-of-door Spray-piles to Spontaneous
        Evaporation, during dark nights. 

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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