The Marquis of Downshire will move for a return of his political honesty.

Lord Melbourne will move for a return of place and power.

The Marquis of Westmeath will move for a return of the days when he was young.

The Marquis Wellesley will move for a return of the pap-spoons manufactured in England for the last three years.

IN THE COMMONS.

Sir Francis Burdett will move for a return of his popularity in
Westminster.

Lord John Russell will move that the return of the Tories to office is extremely inconvenient.

Captain Rous will move for a return of the number of high-spirited Tories who were conveyed on stretchers to the different station-houses, on the night of the ever-to-be-remembered Drury-lane dinner.

Sir E.L.  Bulwer will move for a return of all the half-penny ballads published by Catnach and Co. during the last year.

Morgan O’Connell will move for a return of all the brogues worn by the bare-footed peasantry of Ireland.

Colonel Sibthorp will move for a return of his wits.

Peter Borthwick will move for a return of all the kettles convicted of singing on the Sabbath-day.

Sir Robert Peel will move for a return of all the ladies of the palace—­to the places from whence they came.

Ben D’Israeli will move for a return of all the hard words in Johnson’s Dictionary.

* * * * *

RATHER OMINOUS!

The Sunday Times states, that “several of the heads of the Conservative party held a conference at Whitehall Gardens!” Heads and conferences have been cut short enough at the same place ere now!

* * * * *

HEAVY LIGHTNESS.

  A joke Col.  Sibthorp to the journal sent—­
  Appropriate heading—­“Serious Accident.”

* * * * *

A MATTER OF COURSE.

The match at cricket, between the Chelsea and Greenwich Pensioners, was decided in favour of the latter.  Captain Rous says, no great wonder, considering the winners bad the majority of legs on their side.  The Hyllus affair has made him an authority.

* * * * *

THE DRAMA.

THE ITALIAN OPERA.

RETIREMENT OF RUBINI.

(Exclusive.)

    N.B.—­PUNCH is delighted to perceive, from the style of this
    critique, that, though anonymously sent, it is manifestly from the
    pen of the elegant critic of the Morning Post.