Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

May it plese my Lord,—­i have gest time to Rite and let you kno’ wot a sad plite we are inn, On account off your lordship’s inwitayshun to queen Wictory and Prince Allbut to come and Pick a bit with you, becos There is nothink for them wen they comes, and the Kitchin-range is chok’d up with the sut as has falln down the last fore yeers, and no poletry but too old cox, which is two tuff to be agreerble; But, praps, we Can git sum cold meet from the in, wot as bin left at the farmers’ markut-dinner; and may I ask you my lord without fear of your

[Illustration:  TAKING A FENCE]

on the reseat of this To send down sum ham and beef to me—­two pound will be Enuff—­or a quarter kitt off pickuld sammun, if you can git it, and I wish you may; and sum german silver spoons, to complement prince Allbut with; and, praps, as he and his missus knos they’ve come to Take pot-luck like, they won’t be patickler, and I think we had better order the beer from the Jerry-shop, for owr own Is rayther hard, and the brooer says, that a fore and a harf gallon, at sixpence A gallon, won’t keep no Time, unless it’s drunk; and so we guv some to the man as brort the bushel of coles, and he sed It only wanted another Hop, and then it woud have hopped into water; and John is a-going to set some trimmers in The ditches to kitch some fish; and, praps, if yure lordship comes, you may kitch sum too, from

Yure obedient Humbl servent and housekeeper,



MY LORD,—­Probably your cellars will be full of choke-damp when the door is opened, from long disuse and confined air.  I have men, accustomed to descend dangerous wells and shafts, who will undertake the job at a moderate price.  Should you labour under any temporary pecuniary embarrassment in paying me, I shall be happy to take it out in your wine, which I should think had been some years in bottle.  Your Lordship’s most humble servant,


Dealer in Marine Stores.


* * * * *


  I’ve wander’d on the distant shore,
    I’ve braved the dangers of the deep,
  I’ve very often pass’d the Nore—­
    At Greenwich climb’d the well-known steep;
  I’ve sometimes dined at Conduit House,
    I’ve taken at Chalk Farm my tea,
  I’ve at the Eagle talk’d with Rouse—­
    But I have NOT forgotten thee!

  “I’ve stood amid the glittering throng”
    Of mountebanks at Greenwich fair,
  Where I have heard the Chinese gong
    Filling, with brazen voice, the air. 
  I’ve join’d wild revellers at night—­
    I’ve crouch’d beneath the old oak tree,
  Wet through, and in a pretty plight,
    But, oh!  I’ve NOT forgotten thee!

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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