Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.
          6.  Because the candidate directed to him—­“Esq.”
        3rd.  He whose principles are PHILOSOPHICAL, which may be
              considered as
          1st.  He that is IMPARTIAL, as
            1.  He that voteth on both sides.
            2.  Because he tossed up with himself.
            3.  He who loveth the majority and therefore voteth for him who
                hath most votes.
            4.  Because he is asked to vote one way, and so voteth the
                other, to show that he is not influenced.
            5.  Because he hateth the multitude, and so voteth against the
                popular candidate.
          2nd.  He that is INDEPENDENT, as
            1.  He who cannot be trusted.
            2.  He who taketh money from one side, and voteth on the other.
            3.  He who is not worth bribing.
            4.  He who voteth against his own opinion, because his letter
                was not answered.
            5.  He who, being promised a place last election, was deceived,
                and the like.
  2nd.  He that voteth ACCIDENTALLY, which is divisible into
    1st.  He that voteth through the BLUNDERS OF HIMSELF, which may be
          considered as
      1.  He who is drunk, and forgetteth who gave him the bribe.
      2.  He who goeth to the wrong agent, who leadeth him astray.
      3.  He who is confused and giveth the wrong name.
      4.  He who is bashful, and assenteth to any name suggested.
      5.  He who promiseth both parties, and voteth for all the candidates,
          and the like.
    2nd.  He that voteth through the BLUNDERS OF OTHERS, which may be
          considered as
      1.  He who is mistaken for his servant when he is canvassed, and so
          incensed into voting the opposite way.
      2.  He who is attempted to be bribed before many people, and so
          outraged into honesty.
      3.  He who hath too much court paid by the canvasser to his wife, and
          so, out of jealousy, voteth for the opposite candidate.
      4.  He who is called down from dinner to be canvassed, and being
          enraged thereat, voteth against his conviction.
      5.  He who bringeth the fourth seat in a hackney-coach to him who
          keepeth a carriage and the like.

* * * * *


Have any of PUNCH’S readers ever met one of the above genus—­or rather, have they not?  They must; for the race is imbued with the most persevering hic et ubique powers.  Like the old mole, these Truepennies “work i’ th’ dark:”  at the Theatres, the Opera, the Coal Hole, the Cider Cellars, and the whole of the Grecian, Roman, British, Cambrian, Eagle, Lion, Apollo, Domestic, Foreign, Zoological, and Mythological

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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