Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.
into
          1st.  He has SOME BRAINS, as
            1.  He who believeth taxes will be taken off.
            2.  He who believeth wages will be raised.
            3.  He who thinketh trade will be increased.
            4.  He who studieth political economy.
            5.  He who readeth newspapers, reviews, and magazines, and
                listeneth to lectures, and the like.
          2nd.  He that has NO BRAINS, as
            1.  He who voteth to support “the glorious Constitution,” and
                maintain “the envy of surrounding nations.”
            2.  He who believeth the less the taxation the greater the
                revenue.
            3.  He who attendeth the Crown and Anchor meetings,
                and the like.
        2nd.  He that is MORALLY humbugged, as
          1.  He who thinketh the Millennium and the Rads will come in
              together.
          2.  He who thinketh that the Whigs are patriots.
          3.  That the Tories love the poor.
          4.  That the member troubleth himself solely for the good of his
              country.
          5.  That the unions are popular with the paupers, and the like.
        3rd.  He that is DOMESTICALLY humbugged, as
          1.  He who voteth because the candidate’s ribbons suit his wife’s
              complexion.
          2.  Because his wife was addressed as his daughter by the
              canvasser.
          3.  Because his wife had the candidate’s carriage to make calls
              in, and the like.
          4.  Because his daughter was presented with a set of the Prince
              Albert Quadrilles.
          5.  Because the candidate promised to stand godfather to his last
              infant, and the like.
      2nd.  He that voteth according to PRINCIPLE, which is divisible into
        1st.  He whose principles are HEREDITARY, as
          1.  He who voteth on one side because his father always voted
              on the same.
          2.  Because the “Wrong-heads” and the like had always sat for
              the county.
          3.  Because he hath kindred with an ancient political hero, such
              as Jack Cade, Hampden, the Pretender, &c., and so must
              maintain his principle.
          4.  Because his mother quartereth the Arms of the candidate, and
              the like.
        2nd.  He whose principles are CONVENTIONAL, as
          1.  He who voteth because the candidate keepeth a pack of hounds.
          2.  Because he was once insulted by a scoundrel of the same name
              as the opposite candidate.
          3.  Because the candidate is of a noble family.
          4.  Because the candidate laid the first brick of Zion Chapel,
              and the like.
          5.  Because he knoweth the candidate’s cousin.
Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.