Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

2.—­PRIDE.

  Fitzsmall, who drinks with knights and lords,
    To steal a share of notoriety,
  Will tell you, in important words,
    He mixes in the best society.

* * * * *

ENGLISH AND AMERICAN PRODUCE.

We find, by the Times of Saturday, the British teasel crops in the parish of Melksham have fallen entirely to the ground, and from their appearance denote a complete failure.  Another paragraph in the same paper speaks quite as discouragingly of the appearance of the American Teazle at the Haymarket.

* * * * *

NURSERY EDUCATION REPORT.—­No. 2.

THE ROYAL RHYTHMICAL ALPHABET,

To be said or sung by the Infant Princess.

[Illustration]

A stands for ARISTOCRACY, a thing I should admire;

[Illustration]

B stands for a BISHOP, who is clothed in soft attire;

[Illustration]

C beginneth CABINET, where Mamma keeps her tools;

[Illustration]

D doth stand for DOWNING-STREET, the “Paradise of Fools;”

[Illustration]

E beginneth ENGLAND, that granteth the supplies;

[Illustration]

F doth stand for FOREIGNERS, whom I should patronize;

[Illustration]

G doth stand for GOLD—­good gold!—­for which man freedom barters;

[Illustration]

H beginneth HONORS—­that is, ribbons, stars, and garters;

[Illustration]

I stands for my INCOME (several thousand pounds per ann.);

[Illustration]

J stands for JOHNNY BULL, a soft and easy kind of man;

[Illustration]

K beginneth KING, who rules the land by “right divine;”

[Illustration]

L’s for MRS. LILLY, who was once a nurse of mine.

[Illustration]

M beginneth MELBOURNE, who rules the roast and State;

[Illustration]

N stands for a NOBLEMAN, who’s always good and great.

[Illustration]

O is for the OPERA, that I should only grace;

[Illustration]

P stands for the PENSION LIST, for “servants out of place.”

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Q’s the QUARTER’S SALARY, for which true patriots long;

[Illustration]

R’s for MRS. RATSEY, who taught me this pretty song;

[Illustration]

S stands for the SPEECH, which Mummy learns to say;

[Illustration]

T doth stand for TAXES, which the people ought to pay;

[Illustration]

U’s for the UNION WORK-HOUSE, which horrid paupers shun;

[Illustration]

V is for VICTORIA, “the Bess of forty-one;”

[Illustration]

W stands for WAR, the “noble game” which Monarchs play;

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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