Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.


“The Duke of Wellington begs to return the enclosed letter, as he
neither knows the person who wrote it, nor the reason of sending

This, as I said before, is perhaps one of the most graphic traits on record of the peculiar disposition of the hero of Waterloo.  It bespeaks at once the soldier and the politician.  He answers the letter with military precision, but with political astuteness—­he pretends to be ignorant of the object I had in sending it.  His ready reply was the first impulse of the man; his crafty and guarded mode of expression was the cautious act of the minister.  Had I been disposed to have written a second time to my illustrious correspondent, I now had a fine opportunity of doing so; but I preferred letting the matter drop, and from that day to this, all communication between myself and the duke has ceased. I shall not be the first to take any step for the purpose of resuming it.  The duke must, by this time, know me too well to suppose that I have any desire to keep up a correspondence which could lead to no practical result, and might only tear open afresh wounds that the healing hand of time has long ago restored to their former salubrity.

It may be expected I should say a few words of the duke’s person.  He generally wears a frock coat, and rides frequently on horseback.  His nose is slightly curved; but there is nothing peculiar in his hat or boots, the latter of which are, of course, Wellington’s.  His habits are still those of a soldier, for he gets up and goes to bed again much as he was accustomed to do in the days of the Peninsula.  His speeches in Parliament I have never heard; but I have read some of them in the newspapers.  He is now getting old; but I cannot tell his exact age:  and he has a son who, if he should survive his father, will undoubtedly attain to the title of Duke of Wellington.

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Royal Dispensary for Diseases of the Ear.

Our esteemed friend and staunch supporter Colonel Sibthorp has lately, in the most heroic manner, submitted to an unprecedented and wonderfully successful operation.  Our gallant friend was suffering from a severe elongation of the auricular organs; amputation was proposed, and submitted to with most heroic patience.  We are happy to state the only inconvenience resulting from the operation is the establishment of a new hat block, and a slight difficulty of recognition on the part of some of his oldest friends.

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One of the morning papers gave its readers last week a piece of extraordinary assize intelligence, headed—­“Cutting a wife’s throat—­before Mr. Serjeant Taddy” We advise the learned Serjeant to look to this:  ’tis a too serious joke to be set down as an accessary to the cutting of a wife’s throat.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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