5 o’clock.—­I’m sure we shan’t srwive this night, therefore I av determined to put my heavy log into an M T rum-bottle, and throw it overbord, in bops it may be pickd up by some pirson who will bare my sad tail to my dear Sally.  And now I conclewd with this short advice:—­Let awl yung men take warning by my crewel fate.  Let them avide bad kumpany and keep out of the Palass; and above all, let them mind their bissnesses on dri land, and never cast their fortunes on any main, like their unfortinet

Servant,
THE BOY JONES.

* * * * *

[Illustration]

THE TWO MACBETHS.

OR THE HAY MARKET GEMINI.

        O, Gemini-
        Crimini! 
        Nimini-
        Pimini
  Representatives of the Tartan hero,
  Who wildly tear a passion into rags
  More ragged than the hags
  That round about the cauldron go! 
  Murderers! who murder Shakspeare so,
  That ’stead of murdering sleep, ye do not do it;
  But, vice versa, send the audience to it. 
          And, oh!—­
          But no—­
        Illustrious Mac-
        Beth, or -ready,
        And thou, small quack,
        Of plaudits greedy! 
  Our pen, deserted by the tuneful Muses,
  To write on such a barren theme refuses.

* * * * *

THEATRE ROYAL, DRURY LANE,
POLITICAL PROMENADE AND CONSERVATIVE CONCERTS. 
The most splendid night of the season!  Friday, the 20th of August. 
CAPTAIN ROUS’S NIGHT! 
British Champagne and the British Constitution!—­The Church, the
State, and Real Turtle!

The performances will commence with
FISH OUT OF WATER,
Sam Savory—­Captain Rous, R.N. 
After which,
HIS FIRST CHAMPAGNE;
Which will embrace the whole strength of THE STEWARDS. 
In the course of the Evening, the ENLIGHTENED
LICENSED VICTUALLERS,
(Those zealous admirers of true British spirit) will parade the
room amid
A GRAND DISPLAY OF ELECTION ACCOUNTS.

To be followed by a GRAND PANTOMIME, called
HARLEQUIN HUMBUG;
OR, BRAVO ROUS! 
OLD GLORY (afterwards Pantaloon) SIR F. BURDETT,
who has kindly offered his services on this occasion. 
HARRY HUMBUG (a true British Sailor, afterwards Harlequin), CAPT.  ROUS. 
DON WHISKERANDOS (afterwards Clown), COL.  SIBTHORPE. 
The whole to conclude with a grand melange of
HATS, COATS, AND UMBRELLAS.

TICKETS TO BE HAD AT ANY PRICE.

Stretchers to be at the doors at half-past 2, and policemen to take
up with their heads towards Bow-street.

VIVAT REGINA.

* * * * *

THE ADVANTAGES OF ANIMAL MAGNETISM.

The experiments of M. Delafontaine having again raised an outcry against this noble science, from the apparent absence of any benefit likely to arise from it, beyond converting human beings into pincushions and galvanic dummies.  We, who look deeper into things than the generality of the world, hail it as an inestimable boon to mankind, and proceed at once to answer the numerous enquirers as to the cui bono of this novel soporific.