Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.
Mr. T.C. always has at command smiles for satire, simpers for repartee, sniggers for conundrums, titters for puns, and guffaws for jocular anecdotes.  By Mr. T.C.’s system, cues for laughter are rendered unnecessary, as, from a long course of practical experience, the moment of cachinnation is always judiciously selected.

N.B.  The worst Jokes laughed at, and rendered successful.  Old Joes
made to tell as well as new.

* * * * *

COMIC CREDENTIALS.

T.R.C.G.

Sir,—­I feel myself bound in justice to you and your invaluable laughter, as well as to others who may be suffering, as I have been, with a weakly farce, to inform you of its extraordinary results in my case.  My bantling was given up by all the faculty, when you were happily shown into the boxes.  One laugh removed all sibillatory indications; a second application of your invaluable cachinnation elicited slight applause; whilst a third, in the form of a guffaw, rendered it perfectly successful.

    From the prevalence of dulness among dramatic writers, I have no
    doubt that your services will be in general requisition.

    I am, yours, very respectfully,
    J.R.  Planche. 
    C——­ C——.

Sir,—­I beg to inform you, for the good of other bad jokers, that I deem the introduction of your truly valuable cachinnation one of the most important ever made; in proof of which, allow me to state, that after a joke of mine had proved a failure for weeks, I was induced to try your cachinnation, by the use of which it met with unequivocal success; and, I declare, if the cost were five guineas a guffaw, I would not be without it.

    Yours truly,
    Charles Delaet Waldo Sibthorp (Colonel).

* * * * *

“MY NAME’S THE DOCTOR”—­(vide Peel’s Speech at Tamworth.)

The two doctors, Peel and Russell, who have been so long engaged in renovating John Bull’s “glorious constitution!” though they both adopt the lowering system at present, differ as to the form of practice to be pursued.  Russell still strenuously advocates his purge, while Sir Robert insists upon the efficacy of bleeding.

  “Who shall decide when doctors disagree?”

* * * * *

PUNCH’S INFORMATION FOR THE PEOPLE.—­NO. 1.

BEING A VERY FAMILIAR TREATISE ON ASTRONOMY.

Our opinion is, that science cannot be too familiarly dealt with; and though too much familiarity certainly breeds contempt, we are only following the fashion of the day, in rendering science somewhat contemptible, by the strange liberties that publishers of Penny Cyclopaedias, three-halfpenny Informations, and twopenny Stores of Knowledge, are prone to take with it.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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