The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 320 pages of information about The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth.
dressing-gown, and slippers,—­as if the comforts of home were inseparable.  Then he made a crooked face about his bed, while I laughed at him for his whims, his fancies, and his dogged pedantries.  However, morning found him better-natured, and taking advantage of the opportunity, we held a consultation upon what was best to be done.  That we were on an uninhabited island not a doubt existed:  nor had any son of civilized man ever visited it before:  not so much of civilization as a gallows was there to be seen anywhere, although there were visible in the distance many mountains, and plains, and valleys, and lakes swarming with fish.  With these a people might have flourished, while the soil was pregnant of richness, ready to bring forth corn, rice, tobacco, and cotton.  I was grieved that such a spot should lie wasting; all it wanted was a few sons of New England to make its resources of great commercial value.  A ponderous mountain rose nearly to the sky, distant some two days’ journey, in the west.  After breakfasting on wild fruit (of which there was a great abundance) and limpid water, we set out for it, making a straight line through the forest; but before reaching the summit, and after three days’ scrubbing, we discovered smoke curling gently upward here and there in the clear blue atmosphere.  ‘Lord bless ye, John!’ I exclaimed, halting suddenly, ’there is living critters here, as I’m a Down-easter.’

“’I see ‘um moving!’ he rejoined, nervously surveying the spot.  And in another hour we were in the midst of a tribe of savages, swarthy and of vicious appearance.  Such yelling, hallooing, jumping, and cutting wild antics, you never saw before, nor could pen describe.  Nobody could have understood their chattering, which was a species of growl and shortly accented muttering.  Forsooth! it was as unintelligible as that language so generally diffused through diplomatic notes and protocols.  Now hideous squaws ran one way, young children another.  Dogs and cats brought up the rear, their music combining in most ungrateful medley.  John’s fears became excited as he saw the chiefs rushing furiously onward in the van.  ’What shall we do?’ said he; ‘they will exterminate us.’  I said we had better summon all our amiability and endeavor to engraft ourselves in their good graces.  Young America would talk Yankee to them.  To this John gave ready consent.  I was glad to see that for once he had laid aside his dignity and superciliousness:  it was freely acknowledging that Uncle Sam was somebody—­that he could, in his plain straightforward way do clever things.  Therefore, to initiate my diplomacy I drew forth the Stars and Stripes, and held them before a monster chief of some seven feet in stature, who had almost reached us, making savage grimaces.  Soon he stood before us, John commenced to bow with all his politeness, and meekly doffing off his hat, began a speech with:—­’Your sublime majesty—­’ ‘Stop that, John!’ I exclaimed firmly, interrupting him.  Here I

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The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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