The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 320 pages of information about The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth.
he replied, in a tone indicative of sorrow; ’blast you, and your Young American policy.  This is the natural result of soaring above a reasonable level..  Your manifest destiny is finding its proper depths now!’ John was terribly chagrined; he reckoned Young America was a shade too fast.  Flying, he said, was at best a mighty poor business; once again on firm footing he would for ever look upon manifest destiny as the most aerial thing of the fast nineteenth century.



“‘This side up—­with care!’ said I, finding we must come down, and keeping an eye on John, who looked as burly as a drifting ale pipe in a head sea, and whispered something about Young America being an unpleasant companion to sail the air with.  Feeling how much better it was to be good-natured, I took the matter mathematically, trusting to the best.  To be always right end up is a principle never to be lost sight of.  There was land below us, firm and frowning; which, before we knew where we were, we had slipped into, like preserved meat, up to our arm-pits.  Poor John made an awful blubbering; seeing which, I told him to be good-natured, and at the same time inquired if he had worked up his whereabouts on the way down.

“‘A pretty affair this!’ said he, angrily.  ’Here, on a desolate island, surrounded by a broad ocean, what chance is there for us to save ourselves, or ever again make the confines of civilization?  Despondency knows no joking; and, in such a perplexity, questions about reckoning are out of place.  You may make light of it, Mr. Smooth; but, if you please, let us think of some way to deliver ourselves,’ grumbled John, sweating, puffing, and blowing.  Finally, he said he wished the old gentleman with the horns had made a previous demand on him, inasmuch as it would have saved him the trouble of dying on so desolate a spot, which to him seemed the sorest grievance of all.

“’You groan over it some, don’t you, old fellow?  Reckon how you hain’t seen a Yankee try his ingenuity.  Just puff a spell, until Mr. Smooth calmly studies a little philosophy, which is a mighty good thing in cases of emergency like this,’ I remarked in reply, getting my ideas into a fix, in order to bring out the best point of operation.  Working myself out in a cool sort of way, I seized hold of him by the shoulders, and yanked him straight out, like a log from a marsh slough.  ‘Now, take it all for the best, John,’ I rejoined encouragingly, going to work and putting up a liberty pole, to which I tacked the stars and stripes, while John was grumbling, growling, and methodizing about saving himself.  This done on behalf of my country, and Young America more particularly, I set about erecting a hut, wherein we could both turn in for the night.  With me it was sink the desponding and keep up a stiff spring of hope; but when bed-time came, John made a great fuss about his night-cap and

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The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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