The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 258 pages of information about The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth.
go-ahead principle, is simply that when common sense triumphs universal in a nation, sycophantism dies, and with it that pest of peoples, kingcraft!  So, with the most amiable intentions, does Solomon set out for Washington, to have a first talk with General Pierce:  this talk he hopes will be a prelude to putting straight the nationalities now drifting on the rock of intrigue, without that safety-valve which a people fully conscious of enjoying their rights can give.  And while thus employed, Smooth does not forget that it is a well laid down rule that many small Presidents may talk very large and yet cut very ridiculous figures:  hence his first talk with Mr. Pierce, who is well known for general and very respectable characteristics, may be productive of great good to mankind in a mass.  In New England educated, (that land where niggers may be white men, and white men too often turn niggers), loving universal rights, peace to consolidate a nation’s good, and keep down that martial spirit which is its cankering curse—­being tenacious of freedom in its broadest acceptation, and commercial prosperity with a general diffusion of its results, it is Mr. Smooth’s candid opinion that ere another century rolls into the page of time America will whip, feed, civilize, and republicanize the great American continent.  Could this be done at an earlier period, so much the better for mankind in general.  Smooth was borne out in this opinion from the fact that Europe had got into a great fuzzle, the result of which was an equally great fight.  Kingdoms and empires had become disordered, their craft was stranded; potentates were turning their people into minions of slaughter.  Nicholas (modest god of all the Russias) thought his murdering a few thousands an act most pious:  it was all for the sake of Christianity and a very small holy rite! On the other hand, there was Mister John Bull, so dogged at times, and yet so hard to hold once his propensity for fighting somebody was excited, hurling very unchristian lead and steel into.  Nicholas’s subtle-headed serfs.  But the thing most wondrous was, that Uncle John, now foaming with the fever of war, had got Johnny Crappo at his back instead of his belly—­a fact that would be recorded on the strangest page of history.  Strange fighting companions were they; but as pig and dog do now and then become bed-fellows, who can give too much expression to his surprise at this strange Anglo-French combination?  Let the world say what it will with reference to our worthy friend Uncle John fighting the battle of Mohamedanism—­let it lay at his door the grave charge of degrading himself by seeking to make firm the rotten props of one of the most debased governments that has stained the history of the world with its crimes, John will humanely acknowledge the charge while forwarding to Turkey a copious edition of his “Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge.”

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The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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