The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 320 pages of information about The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth.

“The General, in reply, said he would like to catch him at it.  And to show his courage he went below, when one of the middies at the foot of the companion-way took aim at the General with a champagne bottle, and let drive the contents into the General’s glass.  The Mayor of Halifax, and members of the Corporation, got into a skirmish with the marines.  It seems that Alderman Nugent asked the boatswain, in a sneering sort of way, if they had any turtle on board.  The answer was, ‘No—­but we’ve got turtle soup, if that will do for you.’  The Mayor stepped up, and said he would rather have turtle soup than fish any day.  The boatswain answered that he was tired of hearing so much said about fish.  For his own part, he didn’t see anything in fish to fight about.  If it was mutton, he was on hand for anybody.  One word led on to another—­by this time the steamer was crowded from stem to stern—­until at length there was a general row; every man became a body corporate, and pitched into himself with right good will.

“The ladies got snappish on account of their husbands, and in turn pitched into the officers of the Princeton with their—­eyes.  The sailors were piped to quarters.  Pistols were freely used.  The ’big guns’ were charged and fired, doing much damage to the feelings of the company, in the way of compliments.  In short, it was the greatest battle ever fought in Halifax harbor, real or sham.  After quarrelling in this way, until eight o’clock in the evening, and destroying all the eatables that could be found on board the Princeton, the invaders retired, and left the Commodore and officers to their reflections.  The retreat was effected in gallant style—­so say the ladies.  It is said that the Commodore has sent a despatch to Washington, informing the authorities of the insult received.  We earnestly entreat that our American contemporaries will fully discuss this serious matter, on account of the honor of the ’stars and stripes,’ to say nothing of the ‘fish story.’

“’Now, Mr. Pierce, in this manner was a very grave question—­the fish question, in which many millions had been spent for the purpose of pleasing diplomacy—­put through a course of settlement.  When will the wisdom of the two most free and enlightened nations of the earth devise some plan of mutual compromise, by which the interests of their subjects may be settled without giving to pedantic diplomatists the means to for ever keep alive an international agitation, which can only give out food for the very smallest of demagogues?  We cannot and must not quarrel with Uncle John; no, our birthright, our freedom-loving spirit, our indomitable energy, our kindred institutions, and the interests of our commerce, should make stronger the bonds of peace.  We must, in defiance of that pitiable ambition of political tools, who so interrupt the harmony that should exist between nations kindred in spirit and interests, continue our friendly relations.  Let

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The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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