“’Now and then, though, I gets a law case so confoundedly cross-grained, that I’se forced to call in Lawyer Songster (he’s a cute un, ye know), afore I can get the point o’nt halucinated.  Then, Smooth, you see, I isn’t one a them kind a folk what run after bigified gentry; and that’s how I’se got where I has!  A squire in this part of the world is somebody, I assure ye, sir.  Then, what’s more, I’ve always bin as loyal as a body could be; but, remember ye, I warn’t on the Tory side, and for the very reason that they never appreciated native talent and native larnin.  Them were the days,’ said the Squire, accompanying the words with a sort of political flourish, what tried the souls of us county-folk.  Tory Johnson, and Radical Joe Howe, used to come this way lectioneerin, and set the whole country by the ears; what folk neither of ’em winned over to his party they were sure to get drunk; and poor folks were so fascinated with politics there was no getting a stroke of work done for a month after.  Joe Howe, see ye I was a perfect Jones on politics—­was what them that know most about politics called a champion of free suffrage; and, what was more nor all, worked himself up from the use of a printer’s stick to holding a stick of stronger cast over the whole province, not even excepting our own country.  In fact, he kicked Sir Rupert George out of the Colonial Office only for himself to be kicked in.  Well, Joe said if I’d put in the strong talk, and lectioneer for him and the radicals, he’d make me Squire when he got in the place—­and he kept his word, you see.  Joe once see’d me try a case, and he was so taken with it, there was no describin’ his feelins.  I take it you’d think natur had done her part for me in knowin’ so much ’bout law, if ye’d see me put a case through.’

“The Squire had it all his own way, Smooth not having a chance to put in a word edgewise.  ‘But, seem’ how you cussed Yankees has upset everything in trade along the coast, I isn’t so rich as I used to be.  There wor a time when my little store was as good a gold mine as you could turn up in Californey; I could get any kind of a price for goods; and New England rum, what I liquidated with a sprinklin of Jamaica, sold as quick as gold-dust at fifteen shillins a gallon.’

“Here, by the way of diversifying the conversation, I inquired if he remembered the Queen, in the way of duties paid!

“The Squire opened his spacious mouth, showed his great shark-like teeth, threw away his worn quid, gave his eyes a significant roll sideways, laughed out heartily, and with his left fist added a warning pinch under my left ribs.  ’Don’t ask that unanswerable question!  The custom-house was so far off that nobody thought it any harm to smuggle, just a little!  Bless ye!  Mr. Smooth, why (here Belhash wiped his face with a flashy Spitalfields) the Rector used to get all his tea smuggled; nor a bit of harm did he think it.  But, times ain’t as they wos then, nor did folks deal so much in politics