Wit, Humor, Reason, Rhetoric, Prose, Poetry and Story Woven into Eight Popular Lectures eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 205 pages of information about Wit, Humor, Reason, Rhetoric, Prose, Poetry and Story Woven into Eight Popular Lectures.

“No, madam, I’m a railroad conductor.”

“Have you a Christian man with the train?”

“Yes, that man you see oiling the engine claims to be a Christian, and I think he is; you might consult him if you like.”

Going to the engineer she said:  “Please read this message and tell me if you can catch that train at the junction.”

The engineer read the message and said:  “I’m sorry, madam, but that train goes fifteen minutes before we get there.”

“Please sir, catch that train and let me see my daughter before she dies.”

“I would give a whole month’s wages if I could,” said the tender hearted engineer.

“Then don’t you think God can hold the train fifteen minutes till we get there,” said the distressed mother.

“Oh yes, God can do anything,” was the reply.

“Won’t you ask God to hold that train?  And I will ask Him.”

The engineer said:  “Yes, I will.”

The mother boarded the train, and on schedule time the engine moved.  The engineer took hold of the lever and up with the smoke from the engine went the prayer:  “Lord, hold that train fifteen minutes for that good mother.”  With this prayer more steam was turned on than usual and at the next station the train was two minutes ahead of time.  At the next station two more minutes had been gained.  It was in the early days of railroading when rules were not so strict as now; the conductor knew there was nothing in the way, so he concluded to let the Christian engineer have his way.  As the train was starting for its third and last run for the junction, the engineer said:  “Lord, if you will hold that other train seven and a half minutes, I’ll make up the other seven and a half.”

When the engineer had made up his seven and a half, sure enough there stood the other train.  When the engineer said to the conductor:  “What are you waiting for,” the reply was:  “Something the matter with the engine, but the boys have it fixed now and we’ll go on in a minute.”

“Yes,” said the engineer, “you’ll go on when this godly mother gets on and not before.”

Each one of you do your part, God will do His part, and the end will be victory for “God and home and native land.”

IV

THE NEW WOMAN AND THE OLD MAN.

In the exhibition of fine paintings it is important to have the benefit of proper light and shadow.  So it should be in the study of questions.  Those who look at the new woman through the distorted lense of false education or prejudice, see the monstrosity such as we have pictured in the public press.  They see Dr. Mary Walker, whose dress offends our sense of propriety; they see the ranting woman on the platform, or suffragettes throwing stones through plate-glass windows, and defacing costly specimens of art.  These no more represent the genuine new woman I indorse, than does the goggled-eyed, kimbo-armed dandy represent true manhood.  Fanaticism marks every new movement, every life has its defect, the sun its spots and the fairest face its freckles.

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Wit, Humor, Reason, Rhetoric, Prose, Poetry and Story Woven into Eight Popular Lectures from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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