“What!” I exclaimed—­“only one-and-twopence for a poached egg and bacon and all that salt flavour thrown in?”

* * * * *

Our Modest advertisers.

    “European lady (widow), rather lovely, would like to hear from Army
    Officer or Civilian in a similar position, with a view to keeping up a
    congenial correspondence.”—­Indian Paper.

* * * * *

    “A correspondent in the Air Force writes from Bangalore:—­

    ’It is rather amusing to notice the number of people in the English
    community who have never before seen an aeroplane coming up to the
    aerodrome and gazing in wonder at the old buses.’”—­Evening Standard.

Even in England this spectacle is still the object of remark.

* * * * *

    “We really feel inclined to parody Kipling and say—­

  ’One hand stuck in your dress shirt from to show heart is cline,
  The other held behind your back, to signal, tax again.’”

Singapore Free Press.

We can only hope our esteemed contemporary will not feel this way again.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  The road to Ruin.

Labour.  “What’s your game?”

Mr. Smillie.  “I’m out for nationalisation.”

Labour.  “Ah!  And you’re going to begin by nationalising starvation?”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Mrs. Smithson-Jones (to her husband, who WILL garden in his pyjamas before breakfast). “DO COME IN, ADOLPHUS; YOU’RE DELAYING THE HARVEST.”]

* * * * *

THE ART OF POETRY.

IV.

Good morning, gentlemen.  Before I pass to the subject of my lecture today I must deal briefly with a personal matter of some delicacy.  Since I began this series of lectures on the Art of Poetry I notice that the new Professor of Poetry at Oxford, Mr. W.P.  KER, in what I think is questionable taste, has delivered an inaugural lecture on the same subject under the same title.  On the question of good taste I do not wish to say much, except that I should have thought that any colleague of mine, even an entirely new Professor in a provincial university, would have recognised the propriety of at least communicating to me his intention before committing this monstrous plagiarism.

However, as I say, on that aspect of the matter I do not propose to dwell, though it does seem to me that decency imposes certain limits to that kind of academic piracy, and that those limits the Professor has overstepped.  In these fermenting days of licence and indiscipline persons in responsible positions at our seats of learning have a great burden of example to bear before the world, and if it were to go forth that actions of this type may be taken with impunity by highly-paid Professors then indeed we are not far from Bimetallism and the breaking-up of laws.