nunc ad senem cursum capessam hunc Hegionem, cui boni tantum affero quantum ipsus a dis optat, atque etiam amplius. nunc certa res est, eodem pacto ut comici servi solent. coniciam in collum pallium, primo ex med hanc rem ut audiat:  speroque me ob hunc nuntium aeternum adepturum cibum. 780

Now for a race up to old Hegio here.  I’m bringing him all the happiness he craves of Heaven, yes, and more, too.  I know what I’ll do now:  like slaves in the comedies, I’ll bundle my cloak round my neck and run, so that I’ll be the first man he hears this news from; and I hope to get food for ever and ever for my information.

IV. 2.

    Scene 2.

    ENTER Hegio.

Hegio

Quanto in pectore hanc rem meo magis volato, tanto mi aegritudo auctior est in animo. ad illum modum sublitum os esse mi hodie! neque id perspicere quivi. quod cum scibitur, tum per urbem inridebor.

(soliloquizing moodily) The more I think it over, the sourer I feel.  The idea of their playing upon me in that style to-day!  And I couldn’t see through it.  When it gets known, I shall be the joke of the town.

cum extemplo ad forum advenero, omnes loquentur:  “hic illest senex doctus, quoi verba data sunt.” sed Ergasilus estne his, procul quem video? conlecto quidem est pallio. quidnam acturust?

The moment I appear at the forum they’ll all be saying, “Here comes that smart old fellow that got humbugged.” (observing Ergasilus) But isn’t that Ergasilus I see over there?  With his cloak all tucked up, too!  Now what in the world is he going to do? (steps aside)

Erg.

Move aps te moram atque, Ergasile, age hanc rem. 790 eminor interminorque, ne mi obstiterit obviam nisi quis satis diu vixisse sese homo arbitrabitur. nam qui obstiterit, ore sistet.

(with burlesque importance and bustle) No dawdling now, Ergasilus!  At it, my boy, at it!  I give you to wit by all the law’s pains and penalties that no man stand in my way, unless he thinks he has lived long enough.  For the man that does stand in my way shall stand on his head. (squares off and delivers lusty blows at imaginary passers-by)

Hegio

  Hic homo pugilatum incipit.

      (aside) The fellow is going in for a boxing match!

Erg.

Facere certumst. proinde ita omnes itinera insistant sua, ne quis in hanc plateam negoti conferat quicquam sui. nam meus est ballista pugnus, cubitus catapultast mihi, umerus aries, tum genu quemque icero ad terram dabo, dentilegos omnes mortales faciam, quemque offendero.

I’ll do it, I’m resolved.  So everybody keep where they belong, and don’t anyone bring his business into this street!  I tell you what, my fist is a siege-gun, and this forearm is my catapult, and my shoulder is a battering ram, yes, and every man I lay my knee into will bite the earth.  I’ll make every man I meet a tooth-collector.

Hegio