An Unsocial Socialist eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 342 pages of information about An Unsocial Socialist.

An Unsocial Socialist eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 342 pages of information about An Unsocial Socialist.

“I know it,” he said, leaning towards her and half whispering the words.  “Is not renunciation the beginning and the end of wisdom?  I have sacrificed you rather than profane our friendship by asking you to share my whole life with me.  You are unfit for that, and I have committed myself to another union, and am begging you to follow my example, lest we should tempt one another to a step which would soon prove to you how truly I tell you that you are unfit.  I have never allowed you to roam through all the chambers of my consciousness, but I keep a sanctuary there for you alone, and will keep it inviolate for you always.  Not even Agatha shall have the key, she must be content with the other rooms—­the drawing-room, the working-room, the dining-room, and so forth.  They would not suit you; you would not like the furniture or the guests; after a time you would not like the master.  Will you be content with the sanctuary?” Gertrude bit her lip; tears came into her eyes.  She looked imploringly at him.  Had they been alone, she would have thrown herself into his arms and entreated him to disregard everything except their strong cleaving to one another.

“And will you keep a corner of your heart for me?”

She slowly gave him a painful look of acquiescence.  “Will you be brave, and sacrifice yourself to the poor man who loves you?  He will save you from useless solitude, or from a worldly marriage—­I cannot bear to think of either as your fate.”

“I do not care for Mr. Erskine,” she said, hardly able to control her voice; “but I will marry him if you wish it.”

“I do wish it earnestly, Gertrude.”

“Then, you have my promise,” she said, again with some bitterness.

“But you will not forget me?  Erskine will have all but that—­a tender recollection—­nothing.”

“Can I do more than I have just promised?”

“Perhaps so; but I am too selfish to be able to conceive anything more generous.  Our renunciation will bind us to one another as our union could never have done.”

They exchanged a long look.  Then he took out his watch, and began to speak of the length of their journey, now nearly at an end.  When they arrived in London the first person they recognized on the platform was Mr. Jansenius.

“Ah! you got my telegram, I see,” said Trefusis.  “Many thanks for coming.  Wait for me whilst I put this lady into a cab.”

When the cab was engaged, and Gertrude, with her maid, stowed within, he whispered to her hurriedly: 

“In spite of all, I have a leaden pain here” (indicating his heart).  “You have been brave, and I have been wise.  Do not speak to me, but remember that we are friends always and deeply.”

He touched her hand, and turned to the cabman, directing him whither to drive.  Gertrude shrank back into a corner of the vehicle as it departed.  Then Trefusis, expanding his chest like a man just released from some cramping drudgery, rejoined Mr. Jansenius.

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Project Gutenberg
An Unsocial Socialist from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.