* * *

A French physician declares that a gift for yawning is one of the most valuable health-assets.  This should be good news for revue-producers.

* * *

“Honesty,” says Dr. Ingram, “is the best policy after all.”  All the same some of our profiteers seem to get along pretty well, thank you.

* * *

The egg-laying competition promoted by The Daily Mail has proved a great success.  It is most gratifying to learn that the hens have done their best for “the paper that got us the shells.”

* * *

“The influenza microbe,” announces a medical journal, “has made its appearance in many parts of the country and is slowly but surely making its way towards London.”  With any other Government than ours a simple suggestion that the sign-posts en route should be reversed would have been at once adopted.

* * *

During the last four weeks exactly four hundred and ninety-nine rats have been destroyed in a small town in South Bedfordshire.  It is hoped that as soon as these figures are published a sporting rodent will give itself up in order to complete the fifth century.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “Why haven’t you got on spurs?”

“I was going to speak about that, sir.  I regret I accidentally omitted to put them on this morning, and consequently have caught cold.  So I was going to ask you to be kind enough to grant me leave until—­“]

* * * * *

    “A champagne support was provided in the lower hall.”—­Local Paper.

Very sustaining, we feel sure.

* * * * *

    “The paper supports the proposed formation of a first army of ’shock
    troops,’ which would be capable of preventing the mobilisation of a
    great Germy army.”—­Evening Paper.

Anything to keep the influenza at bay.

* * * * *

    “The times for the incubation of the eggs of various birds are as
    under:—­

Ostrich     41 days. 
Gnu         49 days.”—­Poultry-Keeping.

“Gnus, indeed!” said the Emu.

* * * * *

TO AMERICA

(deferentially hinting how others see her and what they think of her threatened repudiation of her PRESIDENT’S pledges).

  When you refuse to sign the Peace
    Except with various “reservations,”
  And prophesy a swift decease
    Impinging on the League of Nations;
  When you whose arms (we’ve understood)
    Settled the War and wiped the Bosch out
  Regard the whole world’s brotherhood
        As just a wash-out;