Idolatry eBook

Julian Hawthorne
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 290 pages of information about Idolatry.

Idolatry eBook

Julian Hawthorne
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 290 pages of information about Idolatry.

There had been but the briefest hesitation in Helwyse’s mind, but during that pause he had reconsidered his resolve and said No to it.  Remembering some episodes of his past history, he cannot hastily be accused of vulgar fear of death.  In his case, indeed, it may have required more courage to close his mouth than to open it.  Be that as it might, the question as to the degree and nature of his guilt was still unsettled in his mind.  Moreover, had he been clear on this point, he yet distrusted the competence of human laws to do him justice.  He shrank from surrender, less as affecting his person than as superseding his judgment.  But, failing himself and mankind, to what other court can he appeal?  Should the fitting tribunal appear, will he have the nerve to face it?

He did not go to the Astor House, notwithstanding the trouble he had taken to ask his way thither.  He coasted along the more obscure thoroughfares, seeming to find something congenial in them.  Here were people, many of whom had also committed crimes, whose eyes he need not shun to meet, who were his brethren.  To be sure, they gave him no friendly glances, taking him for some dainty aristocrat, whom idle curiosity had led to their domains.  But Helwyse knew the secret of his kinship; and he perhaps indulged a wild momentary dream of proclaiming himself to them, entering into their life, and vanishing from that world that had known him heretofore.  It is a shorter step than is generally supposed, from human height to human degradation.

A pale girl with handsome features, careless expression, and somewhat disordered hair, leant out of a low window, her loose dress falling partly open from her bosom as she did so.

“Where are you going, my love?” inquired she, with a professionally attractive smile.  “Aren’t you going to give me a lock of that sweet yellow hair?—­there’s a duck!”

It so happened that Helwyse had never before been openly accosted by a member of this class of the community.  Was this infringement of the rule the result of his own fall, or of the girl’s exceptional effrontery?  He had an indignant glance ready poised, but forbore to hurl it!  The worst crime of the young woman was that she disposed of herself at a rate of remuneration exactly corresponding to the value of the commodity; whereas he, less economical and orderly, had mortgaged his own soul by disposing of some one else’s body, and was, if anything, out of pocket by the transaction!  Undoubtedly the young woman had the best of it; very likely, had she been aware of the circumstances, she would not have deigned him so much as a smile.  He therefore neither yielded to her solicitations nor rebuked them, but passed on.  The adventure rectified his fraternizing impulse.  Albeit standing accountant for so great a sin, the mire was as yet alien to him.

But there was pertinence in the young woman’s question; where was he going, indeed?  Since the catastrophe on board the steamer, he had forgotten Doctor Glyphic.  He felt small inclination to meet his relative now; but certain considerations of personal interest no longer wore the same color as yesterday.  Robbed of his self-respect, he could ill afford to surrender worldly wealth into the bargain.  On the other hand, to palm himself off on his uncle for a true man was adding hypocrisy to his other crime.

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Project Gutenberg
Idolatry from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.