How a fellow does run on when he gets on the subject which is uppermost in the minds of the American people this year!  All I intended to say, when I started off on this tack, a few pages back, was that if I absolutely and completely cut out all alcoholic stimulant no doubt I should be reducing my weight much faster than is the case at this writing.  To-day practically all the members in good standing of the Order of Friendly Sons of the Boiled Spinach—­I mean the dietetic sharps—­agree that he or she who is banting will be well-advised to drink not at all.  For the most part they do not make a moral issue of this detail.  Some of them refuse to concede that a teetotaler is necessarily healthier or happier or more useful to the world than the moderate imbiber is.  They merely point out that whiskies and beers are, for the majority of humans, fattening things and should therefore be eliminated from the diet of those wishful to lose their superfluous adipose tissue.  Here, again, they disagree with their professional forebears.  The experts of the preceding generations, being mainly Englishmen and Germans, could not conceive of living without drinking.  Some advocated wines, some ales, some a mixture of both with an occasional measure of spirits added for the sake of digestion.  But among the dependable dietetic authorities of the present day there appears to be no wide range of argument on this point.  They pretty generally agree that even a casual indulgence in beverages is not indicated for those who seek to reduce.  I am sure they are right.  But as I remarked just now, what can you do when you are encompassed about by the bottle-toting, sop-it-up-behind-the-door custom which has sprung up since Prohibition was slipped over on us by the Anti-Saloon League?

I confess that I have not the strength of character to swim, almost alone, against the social current.  So I partake of the occasional snort and to that extent stand a self-admitted apologist for an offense which no true reductionist should commit.

But I claim that otherwise—­that in so far as the solid foodstuffs are concerned—­I have, for my own individual case, exactly the right idea about it.

CHAPTER XI

Three Cheers for Lithesome Grace Regained!

My advice to the man or the woman who is in the same fix I was in is to go and do likewise, with variations to suit the individual temperament.  It means self-denial but self-denial persevered in is a virtue, and virtue he will find—­or she will—­not alone is its own reward but a number of additional rewards as well.  Let my late fellow sufferer likewise patronize the gymnasium and the steam room and the cold plunge if he so chooses.  If he desires to have automatic pores, all right.  As for me, I recall what the Good Book says about the pores which ye have always with ye, and I decline to worry about the present uncultured state of mine.  Let him try the electric rollers and the electric baths, if such be his bent; no doubt they have their value.  And by all means let him consult a qualified physician if he fears either that he is overdoing or underdoing his banting.  Personally, though, I am satisfied with the plan I tried out, of being my own private test tube.