“Cumber.”

Solomon M’Slime, Esq., to Lord Cumber:—­

“My Gracious Lord: 

“As I have never intentionally varied from truth, I could not bear even for a moment to seem to fall into the opposite principle.  I was certainly very busy on the day I had the honor and privilege of writing to your lordship, and much distressed both in mind and heart, by the woeful backsliding of a member of our congregation.  On looking over the copy of the letter, however, I perceive one thing that is gratifying to me.  My Lord, I made no mistake.  It is not, perhaps, known to your Lordship that there are two descriptions of widows—­the real and the vegetable; that is, the widow by death, and the widow by local separation from her husband.  Indeed the latter is a class that requires as much sustainment and comfort as the other—­being as they are, more numerous, and suffering all the privations of widowhood, poor things, except its reality.  The expression, my Lord, is figurative, and taken from the agricultural occupation of ploughing; for whenever one animal is unyoked for any other purpose, such as travelling a journey or the like, the other is forthwith turned into some park or grassy paddock, and indeed generally enjoys more comfortable times than if still with the yoke-fellow; for which reason the return of the latter is seldom very earnestly desired by the other.  I am happy to tell you, my Lord, that some very refreshing revivals in the religious world have recently occurred here, such as I trust will cause true religion to spread and be honored in the land; but on the other hand, I fear that Satan is at work among many evil designing persons on your Lordship’s inheritance in this our neighborhood.  Of this, however, that good and conscientious man Mr. M’Clutchy, will, I doubt not, give you all proper information and advice.

“I have the honor to be, my Lord with profound humility,
“Your Lordship’s unworthy servant,
“Solomon M’Slime.”

Valentine M’Clutchy, Esq., J. P., to Lord Cumber:—­

“My Lord: 

“In point of fact, nothing could be more beneficial to your property, than my very seasonable appointment to the commission of the peace.  It has extended my powers of working for your advantage, and armed me with authority that will be found very necessary in repressing outrages and disturbances when they occur; and I regret to say, that they are likely to occur much too frequently.  I should be sorry to doubt Mr. Hickman’s candor, but in spite of all my charity, I can scarcely avoid thinking that he did not treat your Lordship with that openness of purpose and confidence to which every landlord is entitled.  Of course, I say this with great pain, and rather between ourselves, as it were; for heaven forbid, that a single syllable should escape either my tongue or pen, that might injure that gentleman’s character.  The path of duty, however, is often a stern one, as I find it to be on the present occasion.