’Item, I give and bequeath my Goosequilt, with which I demolish’d Dunkirk, to such Person as shall appear most strenuous for the Delivery of Port Mahon and Gibraltar to the Spaniards.
’And as to such Qualifications wherewith I am endow’d, which have always serv’d me in the Nature of personal Estate, I dispose thereof as follows; First, I give and bequeath my Politicks to the Directors of the Academy of Musick, my Religion to the Bishop of B——, my Eloquence to the most distrest Author in Grubstreet, who writes the full Accounts of Murthers & Rapes, and Fires, and my Obscurity to somebody that is inclin’d to turn Casuist in Divinity.
’Item, I give my Beauty to Mr. Dennis, because he had a Mind to steal it from me while I was alive.
’Item, I give my Wits to my Friends at Button’s, my Good Manners to the Deputy Governors of Drury Lane Theatre; and my Charity to the married and unmarried Ladies of the said Theatre; and lest Disputes should arise about the Distribution thereof, it being too little for them All, my Desire is, that they be determin’d in their Shares by Lot.
’And I make and appoint Sir John Falstaffe, Knight, my full and whole Executor, and residuary Legatee, desiring him to continue my Paper of the Theatre, but after his own Stile and Method; and desiring likewise that the Sum of Forty Shillings may be given to the Boys of the Charity School of St. Martin in the Fields, to write me an Elegy any Time within Eighteen Years after my Decease.’
He left several other Legacies to the Theatrical Viceroys, whose Interest he had always so much at Heart, such as, his Humility, his Learning and Judgment in Dramatick Poetry; but these being Things which they always lived without, and which we are assur’d, they will never claim, we thought it needless to insert them.
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Printed for W. BOREHAM, at the Angel in Pater-Noster-Row, where Advertisements and Letters from Correspondents are taken in.
By Sir JOHN FALSTAFFE.
To be Continued every Tuesday and Saturday.
—Animasque in vulnere ponunt.
Tuesday, April 12. 1720.