This was the only possible way in which the astute Mr. Dobson could have persuaded his wife to try his ideas. They both agreed, and he gave her a hundred dollars in bright, new bills. Taking the same amount himself, he began his day.
It would be easily possible for us to make a story out of this by recording the incidents of that day. But they would be too painful for modern readers, who insist upon being amused. Sufficient is it to observe that at night the Dobsons met each other face to face.
“I have been grossly insulted by four people,” said Mrs. Dobson, who looked very much the worse for wear. “By a saleswoman in a department store, my milliner, my shoemaker, and my glovemaker. I offered them all cash, and it will take years to reinstate myself with them again.”
“I got in wrong with my haberdasher and my hatter,” said Dobson, “and then quit for the day. I didn’t have the courage to attempt to buy anything more. Your people, by the way, sent collectors to collect last month’s bills. Also, I calculated this afternoon that if we should pay cash for everything, it would cost me twice my income.”
“How much does it cost now?”
“I don’t know—that’s the strange part of it. But, my dear, isn’t it worthwhile to learn something, even by making such a mistake?”
At this point Mrs. Dobson, who had been softly shedding tears, braced up and impulsively put her arms about her erring husband’s neck.
“Never mind, dear,” she said, “we must face this together. We are probably ruined, but we are both comparatively young, and we will live it down side by side.”
In these days of the conservation of fuel no wonder a certain gentleman was disturbed.
“You’ve made a mistake in your paper,” said this indignant man, entering the editorial sanctum of a daily paper. “I was one of the competitors at that athletic match yesterday, and you have called me ’the well-known light-weight champion.’”
“Well, aren’t you?” inquired the editor.
“No, I’m nothing of the kind, and it’s confoundedly awkward, because I’m in the coal business.”
A kindergarten teacher entering a street-car saw a gentleman whose face seemed familiar, and she said, “Good evening!”
He seemed somewhat surprised, and she soon realized that she had spoken to a stranger. Much confused, she explained: “When I first saw you I thought you were the father of two of my children.”