Long speeches are stutter’d,
And toasts are well butter’d,
While dames in the gallery,
All dressed in fallallery,
Look on at the mummery,
And listen to flummery. 
Hip, hip! and huzzaing,
And singing and saying,
Glees, catches, orations,
And lists of donations,
Hush! a song, Mr. Tinney—­
“Mr. Benbow, one guinea;
Mr. Frederick Manual,
One guinea—­and annual.” 
Song—­Jocky and Jenny,
“Mr. Markham, one guinea.” 
“Have you all filled your glasses?”
Here’s a health to good lasses. 
The subscription still skinny—­
“Mr. Franklin—­one guinea.” 
Franklin looks like a ninny;
“Mr, Boreham, one guinea—­
Mr. Blogg, Mr. Finney,
Mr. Tempest—­one guinea,
Mr. Merrington—­twenty,”
Rough music, in plenty. 
Away toddles Chairman,
The little dark spare man,
Not sorry at ending,
With white sticks attending,
And some vain Tomnoddy
Votes in his own body
To fill the void seat up,
And get on his feet up,
To say, with voice squeaking,
“Unaccustomed to speaking.” 
Which sends you off seeking
Your hat, number thirty—­
No coach—­very dirty. 
So hungry and fever’d
Wet-footed, spoilt-beaver’d,
Eyes aching in socket,
Ten pounds out of pocket,
To Brook Street the Upper
You haste home to supper.

SALLY SIMPKIN’S LAMENT;

OR, JOHN JONES’S KIT-CAT-ASTROPHE.

   “He left his body to the sea,
   And made a shark his legatee.” 
    BRYAN AND PERENNE.

“Oh! what is that comes gliding in,
  And quite in middling haste? 
It is the picture of my Jones,
  And painted to the waist.

“It is not painted to the life,
  For where’s the trowsers blue? 
Oh Jones, my dear!—­Oh dear! my Jones,
  What is become of you?”

“Oh!  Sally dear, it is too true,—­
  The half that you remark
Is come to say my other half
  Is bit off by a shark!

“Oh!  Sally, sharks do things by halves,
  Yet most completely do! 
A bite in one place soems enough,
  But I’ve been bit in two.

“You know I once was all your own,
  But now a shark must share! 
But let that pass—­for now, to you
  I’m neither here nor there.”

“Alas! death has a strange divorce
  Effected in the sea,
It has divided me from you,
  And even me from me!

“Don’t fear my ghost will walk o’ nights
  To haunt, as people say;
My ghost can’t walk, for, oh! my legs
  Are many leagues away!

“Lord! think when I am swimming round,
  And looking where the boat is,
A shark just snaps away a half,
  Without a ‘quarter’s notice.’

“One half is here, the other half
  Is near Columbia placed;
Oh!  Sally, I have got the whole
  Atlantic for my waist.

“But now, adieu—­a long adieu! 
  I’ve solved death’s awful riddle,
And would say more, but I am doomed
  To break off in the middle!”