I sit down, my Dear Mrs. T. by desire of poor Thomson, to write you a line: not, to assure you of his eternal love and affection for you and his dear child; but only to say, that he is well, and as happy as he can be, separated from all which he holds dear in this world. He has no thoughts separated from your love, and your interest. They are united with his; one fate, one destiny, he assures me, awaits you both. What can I say more? Only, to kiss his child for him: and love him as truly, sincerely, and faithfully, as he does you; which is, from the bottom of his soul. He desires, that you will more and more attach yourself to dear Lady Hamilton.
See LETTER XXXVI. Page 135.
My Dearest Beloved * * * *,
To say, that I think of you by day, night, and all day, and all night, but too faintly express my feelings of love and affection towards you * * * * * * * * * * unbounded affection. Our dear excellent, good * * * * * * * is the only one who knows any thing of the matter; and she has promised me, when you * * * * * * again, to take every possible care of you, as a proof of her never-failing regard for your own dear Nelson. Believe me, that I am incapable of wronging you, in thought, word, or deed. No; not all the wealth of Peru could buy me for one moment: it is all your’s, and reserved wholly for you; and * * * certainly * * * * * * * * * from the first moment of our happy, dear, enchanting, blessed meeting. The thoughts of such happiness, my dearest only beloved, makes the blood fly into my head. The call of our country, is a duty which you would, deservedly, in the cool moments of reflection, reprobate, was I to abandon: and I should feel so disgraced, by seeing you ashamed of me! No longer saying—“This is the man who has saved his country! This is he who is the first to go forth to fight our battles, and the last to return!” And, then, all these honours reflect on you. “Ah!” they will think; “what a man! what sacrifices has he not made, to secure our homes and property; even the society and happy union with the finest and most accomplished woman in the world.” As you love, how must you feel! My heart is with you, cherish it. I shall, my best beloved, return—if it pleases God—a victor; and it shall be my study to transmit an unsullied name. There is no desire of wealth, no ambition, that could keep me from all my soul holds dear. No; it is to save my country, my wife in the eye of God, and * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * will tell you that it is all right: and, then, only think of our happy meeting.
Ever, for ever, I am your’s, only your’s, even beyond this world,
NELSON & BRONTE.
For ever, for ever, your own NELSON.
August 26th, [1803.]
Letters OF LADY HAMILTON, &c.