AN EN-NOBBLING SPECTACLE!

BEING SOME ACCOUNT OF THE PRODIGAL DAUGHTER OF DRURY LANE.

CHAPTER I.—­THE TEA-URN OF THE HUNTER.

SIR JOHN HENRY NEVILLE WOODMERE was the most considerate of men, and he had a very considerate family, and a large circle of considerate acquaintances.  He was obliging to the last degree, Among those he knew, and to whom he owed a deep debt of gratitude (for they had furnished him with an old family mansion, a stud of racers, and passes for himself and circle to Paris) were AUGUSTE LE GRAND, and HENRI LE PETTITT.

[Illustration:  Voluptuary, carrying weight, winning the Great Metropolitan Drury Lane Stakes.  Everybody up.]

“My good friend,” said HENRI, “your daughter is charming.  She has been well brought up, and has the finest sentiments; but it is necessary that she should run away to Paris, and dodge the parson.  Otherwise, how could she be called The Prodigal Daughter?”

Sir JOHN saw the force of this reasoning, and consented.

“And stay,” said AUGUSTE, “we must really have a good set, and you must go a fox-hunting.  You must have armour, and a breakfast, and all of you must wear hunting-coats.  And look here, we can’t do without flowers, and coats-of-arms, and open windows.”

“But,” objected Sir JOHN, “if I am going a fox-hunting, surely it should be in the winter or spring.  And how about the flowers?”

“You have got them from Nice,” replied AUGUSTE.

So it was thus arranged.  Sir JOHN’s daughter, who was called ROSE MILLWARD WOODMERE, eloped and broke her father’s heart.

“But,” exclaimed her bereaved parent, preparing to mount a horse that was waiting for him on the lawn amongst the flower-beds, “although my heart is breaking, I will show the world I am a true English gentleman by starting off to head the chace!”

And he said this out of consideration for AUGUSTE and HENRI, because he knew they wanted what is technically known as a Curtain.  And by this means he gave them one.  And a good one too.

CHAPTER II.—­A LITTLE TRIP TO PARIS.

And then Sir JOHN and all his considerate family and acquaintances went to Paris to stay at the Grand Hotel, which seemed to have been surrendered to them (at convenient times) for their special use.  Sir JOHN was accompanied by a most useful villain, who showed the depth of his depravity by wearing a moustache of the deepest dye.  So that this depth might be better known, he called himself DEEPWATER.

“Sir JOHN,” said this villain, “your daughter has come to Paris with Captain HARRY VERNON, and you should trounce him.”

“I will,” replied Sir JOHN, heartily; “but surely I have seen my daughter, and my niece, and Captain HARRY BOYNE VERNON, and the Hon. JULIAN KNIGHT BELFORD, and Lord HARRY NICHOLLS BANBERRY (a comic Peer), and his wife (a converted Quakeress), and DUDLEY J.L.  SHINE ROPER, a wicked but amusing Hebrew, hanging about.  Cannot we meet for two minutes, and set everything to-rights?”