He slapped at his chest, as he sat on that bough,
    Singing “Willow, titwillow, titwillow!”
  And a cold perspiration bespangled his brow,
    Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow! 
  He sobbed and he sighed, and a gurgle he gave,
  Then he threw himself into the billowy wave,
  And an echo arose from the suicide’s grave—­
    “Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!”

  Now I feel just as sure as I’m sure that my name
    Isn’t Willow, titwillow, titwillow,
  That ’twas blighted affection that made him exclaim,
    “Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!”
  And if you remain callous and obdurate, I
  Shall perish as he did, and you will know why,
  Though I probably shall not exclaim as I die,
    “Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!”

HE AND SHE.

      HE. 
  I know a youth who loves a little maid—­
    (Hey, but his face is a sight for to see!)
  Silent is he, for he’s modest and afraid—­
    (Hey, but he’s timid as a youth can be!)

      SHE. 
  I know a maid who loves a gallant youth,
    (Hey, but she sickens as the days go by!)
  She cannot tell him all the sad, sad truth—­
    (Hey, but I think that little maid will die!)

      BOTH. 
    Now tell me pray, and tell me true,
    What in the world should the poor soul do?

      HE. 
  He cannot eat and he cannot sleep—­
    (Hey, but his face is a sight for to see!)
  Daily he goes for to wail—­for to weep—­
    (Hey, but he’s wretched as a youth can be!)

      SHE. 
  She’s very thin and she’s very pale—­
    (Hey, but she sickens as the days go by!)
  Daily she goes for to weep—­for to wail—­
    (Hey, but I think that little maid will die!)

      BOTH. 
    Now tell me pray, and tell me true,
    What in the world should the poor soul do?

      SHE. 
  If I were the youth I should offer her my name—­
    (Hey, but her face is a sight for to see!)

      HE. 
  If I were the maid I should feed his honest flame—­
    (Hey, but he’s bashful as a youth can be!)

      SHE. 
  If I were the youth I should speak to her to-day—­
    (Hey, but she sickens as the days go by!)

      HE. 
  If I were the maid I should meet the lad half way—­
    (For I really do believe that timid youth will die’!)

      BOTH. 
    I thank you much for your counsel true;
    I’ve learnt what that poor soul ought to do!

[Illustration]

THE LORD CHANCELLOR’S SONG.

  The law is the true embodiment
  Of everything that’s excellent. 
  It has no kind of fault or flaw,
  And I, my lords, embody the Law. 
  The constitutional guardian I
  Of pretty young Wards in Chancery,
  All very agreeable girls—­and none
  Are over the age of twenty-one. 
    A pleasant occupation for
    A rather susceptible Chancellor!