More Toasts eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 609 pages of information about More Toasts.

More Toasts eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 609 pages of information about More Toasts.

To look on the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and to have a smile ready for every living creature you meet.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticise others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world—­not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

CONFESSIONS

Open Confession is Good for the Soul

Surgeon’s instrument case lost in some saloon.  Reward.  Dr. H.E.  Lebel. 1227 Hennepin.

A certain rector, just before the service, was called to the vestibule to meet a couple who wanted to be married.  He explained that there wasn’t time for the ceremony then.  “But,” said he, “if you will be seated I will give you an opportunity at the end of the service to come forward, and I will then perform the ceremony.”

The couple agreed, and at the proper moment the clergyman said:  “Will those who wish to be united in the holy bond of matrimony please come forward?”

Thereupon thirteen women and one man proceeded to the altar.

The Irish lad and the Yiddish boy were engaged in verbal combat.  Finally the subject came down to their respective churches.

“I guess I know that Father Harrity knows more than your Rabbi,” the little Irish boy insisted.

“Shure, he does; vy not?” replied the Jewish boy.  “You tell him everything.”

CONFIDENCES

A man got in a cab at a Southern railway station and said:  “Drive me to a haberdasher’s.”

“Yaas, suh,” said the driver, whipped up his horse and drove a block; then he leaned over to address his passenger:  “’Scuse me, boss; whar d’ you say you wanter go?”

“To a haberdasher’s.”

“Yaas, suh; yaas, suh.”  After another block there was the same performance:  “‘Scuse me, boss, but whar d’ you say you wanter go?”

“To a haberdasher’s,” was the somewhat impatient reply.

Then came the final appeal:  “Now, look-a-here, boss, I be’n drivin’ in dis town twenty year’, an’ I ain’t never give nobody away yit.  Now, you jes tell dis nigger whar’t is you wanter go.”

CONGRESS

“How is the law made?” asked the instructor in United States history.

Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
More Toasts from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.