IF YOU EXPECT TO SEE THE NEXT BLOCK KEEP YOURS INSIDE.

There was another one worded as follows: 

YOUR HEAD MAY BE HARD

But not so hard as Bridges and Tunnel Arches.

Railway company will hold you responsible for damages to bridges and tunnels and signal-towers—­they are not insured.

KEEP YOUR BLOCK INSIDE

And yet another: 

  Huns are waiting. 
    Trenches ahead. 
      Speed up. 
You won’t if you ride on top of or stick your head out of cars.

KEEP YOUR IVORY IN!

HEALTH OFFICER MOONEY—­“Y’r Honor, Oi think that humorist should be prohibited from givin’ his lecture in the opera house tomorrow night, sor!”

MAYOR OF TOWN—­“Why so, Mooney?  Is it immoral?”

HEALTH OFFICER MOONEY—­“Not immoral, sor; but they say his humor is contagious!”

SENTRIES

See Armies.

SERMONS

See Preaching.

SERVANTS

MISTRESS—­“Bridget, I’m tired of your carelessness.  Only look at that dust on the furniture.  It’s six weeks old at the very least.”

BRIDGET—­“Shure, it’s no fault av moine.  Oi’ve been here only t’ree weeks.”

While Willie and his mother were walking along the street, they passed an employment agency with this sign in the window:  “Colored Help Supplied.”

“Look, ma,” said Willie.  “Is that where we got our green cook?”

Cynthia, a young colored cook, who had recently given up her employment in order that she might try her luck at the easier profession of cateress, met her former mistress on the street.

“Good morning, Cynthia,” said the lady.  “Where are you working now?”

“I isn’t workin’ nowhere now, ma’am,” replied Cynthia, coyly; “I’se capering for a congressman.”

WIFE—­“I wish I knew what to do with this skirt.  It’s good, but somewhat out of style.”

HUSBAND—­“Why don’t you give it to the laundress?”

WIFE—­“Don’t be funny, George.  She’s a good laundress, and I wouldn’t offend her for the world.”

MRS. ECKS—­“That’s a shocking clumsy maid who served us.  And Mrs. Wise said she had such a treasure.”

MRS. WYE—­“This maid is one she hired for the occasion.  She has the treasure locked in her room for fear one of the guests might steal her.”

MISTRESS—­“Now, Ada, I want you to show us what you can do tonight.  We have a few very special friends coming for a musical evening.”

COOK—­“Well, mum, I ‘aven’t done any singin’ to speak of for years, but as you insists upon it you can put me down for ’The ’Oly City’!”

NEW MISTRESS—­“How about the afternoon off?”