If Only etc. eBook

Augustus Harris
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 114 pages of information about If Only etc..

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Not to his studio, for I’ve just been there.

SUSAN.

No, sir, he has gone to his dentist.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Then I’ll just sit down here till he comes back.  You may go in and tell him so.

SUSAN (confused).

I hope you don’t think I tell stories, sir?  If Mr. Tempenny’s out how can I take him your message?

(Enter REMBRANDT TEMPENNY R.)

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (briskly).

Now, you understand, Susan, I am out to everyone, and if a Mr. Schercl calls—­(seeing HENRICH SCHERCL—­aside).  Good gracious! (Aloud.) Beg him to wait till I return—­I want to see him.

HENRICH SCHERCL (sardonically).

He is waiting, sir.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (affecting surprise).

My dear friend, how glad I am—­how very glad! (Aside.) This is the very devil! (Aloud.) All right, Susan, you can go.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

I want a leedle talk with you, my friend, without delay.

SUSAN (aside).

I hope the master’ll enjoy himself, I’m sure!  I did my best for him anyhow!

(Exit L.)

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Mr. Tempenny, I am here to demand an exblanation, sir—­an exblanation of your strange behaviour of yesterday.  And there is something else, sir.  I find you are not Mr. Tempenny at all, sir, you are an imposter.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (aside).

He did take me for Tempenny R.A., Addison was right! (Aloud.) An imposter, Mr. Schercl?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Zertainly, sir.  I took you for the Mr. Tempenny—­it was to the Mr. Tempenny, I brobosed to give my commission.  You ’ave cheated me, you fellow.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Now, now, take care!  How was I to know you took me for somebody else?  You came to me, and you made me an offer, and I accepted it.  How could I tell you thought I was another—­I may say an inferior—­Tempenny?  I say how could I know you were making a mistake?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

You knew it very well.  I would not pay tree ’undred pounds to you!  What do you think I am—­a fool?  You ’ave obtained an order from me under false pretences, do you hear.  I say you ’ave robbed me.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Gently! gently! this is slander, old gentleman.  It will cost you a good deal more than three hundred pounds if you aren’t more guarded in your remarks.

HENRICH SCHERCL (spluttering).

What?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

It will really.  I shall owe it to myself to have you up for slander, and it would be a very good advertisement for me too.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

What! what! what!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

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Project Gutenberg
If Only etc. from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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