If Only etc. eBook

Augustus Harris
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 114 pages of information about If Only etc..

ROSALINE.

Mr. Sylvester is in there.  Here, if you don’t want to be seen, get into this cupboard.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Is it glean?  Are you sure?

ROSALINE.

Clean as a new pin.  Come on if you mean it, there’s no time to waste. 
Now or never?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

(Going into cupboard, gingerly).  I am certain it is not glean.

(ROSALINE shuts the door and turns as MRS. SYLVESTER re-enters with
MRS. TEMPENNY).

MRS. SYLVESTER.

I told you so!  Here she is as bold as brass.  Now what do you say to that?

MRS. TEMPENNY.

If indeed my husband brought her here—­if he has really assisted Mr.
Sylvester to deceive you—­

MRS. SYLVESTER.

(Scornfully).  “IF!” The creature does not deny it.  Speak, girl.

ROSALINE.

Good afternoon.

MRS. SYLVESTER.

“Good afternoon?” It isn’t a “good afternoon” I want you to say.  Speak, I tell you.

ROSALINE.

What shall we talk about?

(R.D. slowly opens a little—­showing REMBRANDT TEMPENNY and CHARLES SYLVESTER listening).

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

(Aside to CHARLES SYLVESTER).  Can you do it, do you think?

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

I can do it.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Threaten to punch my head.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Yes, yes—­and you had better be very violent too.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I twig.  Wait a moment.

(They withdraw).

MRS. TEMPENNY.

(Bursting into tears).  I will never forgive him as long as I live.

MRS. SYLVESTER.

I should think not.  When I see Charles—!

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Oh, and when I see Rembrandt—!

MRS. SYLVESTER.

I will see him, if I stop till midnight!

MRS. TEMPENNY.

And I’ll see him, if I don’t go home for a week!

(Enter REMBRANDT TEMPENNY backwards, very disordered attire—­his entrance to suggest that he has been flung in.  CHARLES SYLVESTER follows).

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

(With affected fury).  If you did not bring this person here, sir, how did she come?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

How?

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Yes, sir—­how?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

How do I know?

MRS. SYLVESTER and MRS. TEMPENNY.

What is all this?  Oh, good gracious, the men have been fighting!

ROSALINE (aside).

I know what it is—­it’s spoof.

MRS. SYLVESTER.

(Rushing to CHARLES SYLVESTER).  Charles—­Charles, compose yourself!

MRS. TEMPENNY.

(Rushing to REMBRANDT TEMPENNY).  Rembrandt, be calm.

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Project Gutenberg
If Only etc. from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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