If Only etc. eBook

Augustus Harris
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 114 pages of information about If Only etc..

MRS. TEMPENNY (off).

I am coming up at once.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (rushing to window again).

On no account, my darling, I can’t be disturbed.

ROSALINE.

I’m off.  Ta-ta.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (back to her again).

You shan’t go—­I’ll lock you in first.  There! (Locks door, and takes out key.)

MRS. TEMPENNY (off).

Rembrandt, I must come up.  Something is the matter.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

No, no, no.  Go home, and see the tradespeople, catch! (Takes out the two sovereigns, and runs to window again:  in his excitement he throws with the wrong hand—­throwing out key.) Good Lord!  I’ve thrown her the key. (Leans out of the window.) She is coming upstairs.  Skip inside there till she goes.  Hurry! (Motions ROSALINE off R.)

ROSALINE (scornfully).

Wives, wives, wives!

(Exit Rosaline.)

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Rembrandt!  Why did you keep me waiting—­there’s a sheriff’s officer on his way here with a warrant.  He has been at the house, and the servant ran round to Sylvester’s to tell me.  You must escape.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Escape?

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Fly!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I can’t fly—­I am not built for flying.

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Then you must hide.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Where?

MRS. TEMPENNY.

(Pointing to room where Rosaline is concealed.) There!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

No, no, Hark!

(Very heavy steps are heard ascending stairs.)

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I hear a footfall.

MRS. TEMPENNY (in terror).

Hide yourself—­quick.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (in terror).

I can’t.

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Why not?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (loftily).

A hero never hides.  Ah, I have it.  I’ll jump from the window.

(Struggles into his coat and hat.)

MRS. TEMPENNY.

There is the conservatory underneath.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I’ll jump clear of it.  Don’t let him in for a minute.

(He plants a lay-figure in front of canvas, with its back to door in flat, then proceeds to dress it up to resemble himself at work.  Brush in hand, etc.)

GROGGINS (off).

Mr. Tempenny!

(Knocks at door.)

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Who’s there?

(She goes to door, half opening it, so that GROGGINS has a partial view of lay-figure.)

GROGGINS.

I have a warrant here for Mr. Rembrandt Tempenny—­matter of forty pun’.

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Sh!  He is painting.

Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
If Only etc. from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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