I think the characters of both my friends stood out, clearly defined, in the words with which they referred to this incident afterwards.  Doe was generous in his praise.  “Golly,” he said, “I wish I could feel I had done it as you can now.  I cursed my luck that my name didn’t come after yours, so that I could have stood by you, as Penny did.  I could have throttled him with jealousy.  Do you know, I almost wished the other boys had mobbed you a bit, so that I could have stuck by you.”  And Penny said:  “You didn’t really think I was going to throw the weight of my trade union on to the side of that foul, caitiff knave of a Carpet Slippers?  Why, the man’s a low fellow—­the sort of person one simply doesn’t know.  He’d drink his own bath-water.”

Sec.6

“If you succeed in doing what is right, come and see me again.”  I decided to stay away.  Many times that morning I passed Radley in the school buildings, and, pretending not to have seen him, went by with a hum or a whistle.  In the afternoon he came and coached our game at cricket; and after tea he bowled at the Bramhall Nets where I was practising.  When he instructed me he spoke as though there were nothing between us.  But he was watching me, I knew; wondering why I had not come, and longing for me:  and I rather overplayed my part.

It had been a grey, dull day, but, just before retiring, the sun came out and shamed the clouds into a sullen withdrawal.  Then it went under, leaving behind it a glorious red glow and the hope of better things in the morning.  All this I was in the mood to notice, for, though trying to be indifferent to destiny, I was heavy and dispirited.  I did not see how I could ever do right again, since Radley’s determination and my own had been insufficient to brace me for the onslaught.  It was evident that mine was the stuff from which criminals were made.

And, as the red glow departed and the darkness gathered, if there was one lonely boy in the world, languidly despairing, it was I. Many times I found myself uttering aloud such slang expressions as:  “Oh, my hat!  If only I had told the beastly truth for the third time!  Dash it, why didn’t I?  Why the deuce didn’t I?” I addressed myself as:  “You blithering, blithering fool!” And my temples began to ache and now and then to hammer.  For, always in these my early days of puberty, excitement and worry produced such immediate sensuous results.

Radley sent for me at last, and it was a relief to go.  He was very kind.  Frankly, I believe he was pleased to have his new favourite in his room again.  I was indeed his hobby at present.

“Have I ever bullied you at the nets,” he said, “for stepping back to a straight ball?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, the universal habit of ‘stepping back’ is exactly parallel to that of arguing with conscience.  The habit grows; one’s wicket always falls after a few straight balls; and one’s batting goes from bad to worse.  Never mind, you stood up splendidly to the first two straight balls and scored boundaries off both.  That shows you are getting into your old form.  You are out of practice a bit, that’s all.”