Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, October 16, 1841 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 58 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, October 16, 1841.

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Having been particularly struck by the infernal smashes that have recently taken place on several railroad lines, and having been ourselves forcibly impressed by a tender, which it must be allowed was rather hard (coming in collision with ourselves), we have thought over the subject, and have now the following suggestions to offer:—­

Behind each engine let there be second and third class carriages, so that, in the event of a smash, second and third class lives only would be sacrificed.

Let there be a van full of stokers before the first class carriages; for, as the directors appear to be liberal of the stokers’ lives, it is presumed that every railway company has such a glut of them that they can be spared easily.

As some of the carriages are said to oscillate, from being too heavy at the top, let a few copies of “Martinuzzi” be placed as ballast at the bottom.

In order that the softest possible lining may be given to the carriages, let the interior be covered with copies of Sibthorp’s speeches as densely as possible.

We have not yet been able to find a remedy for the remarkable practice which prevails in some railways of sending a passenger, like a bank-note, cut in half, for better security.

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    To describe an Independent Member upon a given indefinite line of

[Illustration:  L]Let C R, or Conservative Reform, be the given indefinite line—­it is required to describe on C R an independent member.


With the centre Reform, and at the distance of Conservatism, describe G B and M—­or Graham, Brougham, and Melbourne—­the extremes of the Whig Administration of 1834.

With the centre Conservatism, and at the distance of Reform, describe G B and P—­or Graham, Buckingham, and Peel—­the extremes of the Tory Administration of 1841.

From the point Graham, where the administrations cut one another, draw the lines Graham and Reform, and Graham and Conservatism.

Then Graham and Conservative Reform is an independent member.

For because Reform was the centre of the Whig Administration, Graham, Brougham, and Melbourne

Therefore Graham and Reform was the same as Reform with a shade Conservatism.

And because Conservatism is the centre of the Tory Administration, Graham, Buckingham, and Peel

Therefore Graham and Conservatism is the same as Conservatism with a shade Reform

Therefore Graham and Conservatism is the same as Graham and Reform

Therefore Graham is either a Conservative or a Reformer, as the case may require.

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, October 16, 1841 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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