Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, October 16, 1841 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 58 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, October 16, 1841.

The whole band of jealous rivals set up the “Laughing Chorus,” and Agnes, in the extremity of her disgust, turned up her nose till she nearly fractured its bridge, whilst Hans rushed from the scene of his disgrace, and never stopped running until he opened the door of his little shop, threw himself into a chair, and laid his head down upon an old “family Bible” which chanced to be upon the table.  In this position he continued for some time, when, on raising his head, he found his tormentor and the two ladies, grouped like the Graces, in the centre of the apartment.

“Well, Scrapshins,” said the gentleman, “I have called for my teeth.  You see I have kept my promise.”  Hans sighed deeply, and the ladies giggled.

“Nay, man, never look so glum!  Here, take the flask—­forget Agnes, and console yourself with the love of”—­

The conclusion of this harangue must for ever remain a mystery; for Hans, at this moment, took up the family volume which had served him for a pillow, and dashed it at the heads of the trio.  A scream, so loud that it broke the tympanum of his left ear, seemed to issue from them simultaneously—­a thick vapour filled the room, which gradually cleared off, and left no traces of Hans’ visitors but three small sticks of stone brimstone.  The truth flashed upon the barber—­his visitor was the far-famed Mephistopheles.  Hans packed up his remaining wardrobe, razor, strop, soap-dish, scissors and combs, and turned his back upon Stocksbawler forever.  Four years passed away, and Hans was again a thriving man, and Agnes Flirtitz the wife of the doctor of Stocksbawler.  Another year passed on, and Hans was both a husband and a father; but the coquette who had nearly been his ruin had eloped with the chasseur of a travelling nobleman.

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Sir P. Laurie has sent to say that he has looked into Dr. Farr’s “Medical Guide to Nice,” and is much disappointed.  He hoped to have seen a print of the eternally-talked of “Nice Young Man,” in the costume of the country.  He doubts, moreover, that the Doctor has ever been there, for his remarks show him not to have been “over Nice.”

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Dr. Coombe, in his new work upon America, by some anatomical process, invariably connects large lungs with expansive intellect.  Our and Finsbury’s friend, Tom Duncombe, declares, in his opinion, this must be the origin of the received expression for the mighty savans, viz., the “lights of literature.”

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, October 16, 1841 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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