Those who write to ask, may be divided into—
1.—Creditors. 2.—Constituents. 3.—Sons. 4.—Daughters. 5.—Their offspring. 6.—Nephews, nieces. 7.—Indistinct cousins, and 8.—Unknown, dear, and intimate friends.
Those who write to refuse, are
2.—Members of Parliament
8.—Bilious and distant nabobs, and equally dear friends, who
will do anything but what the askers want.
We are confident of ensuring the everlasting gratitude of the above parties by laying before them the proper formulae for their respective purposes; and, therefore, as all the world is composed of two great classes, which, though they run into various ramifications, still retain their original distinguishing characteristics—namely, that of being either “debtors” or “creditors”—we will give the general information necessary for the construction of their future effusions.
From a wine-merchant, being a creditor, to a right honourable, being a debtor.
Verjuice-lane, City, January 17, 1841.
MY LORD,—I have done myself the honour of forwarding your lordship a splendid sample of exquisite Frontignac, trusting it will be approved of by your lordship. I remain, enclosing your lordship’s small account, the payment of which will be most acceptable to your lordship’s most
Obedient very humble servant,
THE ANSWER TO THE SAME.
The sample is tolerable—send in thirty dozen—add them to your account—and let my steward have them punctually on December 17, 1849.
P.S.—I expect you’ll allow discount.
From a creditor, being a “victim,” “schneider,” “sufferer,” or “tailor,” to one who sets off his wares by wearing the same, being consequently a debtor.
HONOURED SIR,—I can scarcely express my delight at your kind compliments as to the fit and patterns of the last seventy-three summer waistcoats; the rest of the order is in hand. I enclose a small account of 490l. odd, which will just meet a heavy demand. Will you, sir, forward the same by return of post, to your obliged and devoted
ADOLPHUS JULIO BACKSTITCH.
P. Pink, Esq., &c. &c.
ANSWER TO THE SAME
You be d—d, Backstitch.
From a constituent in the country, being a creditor “upon promises,” to a returned member of Parliament in town.
Bumbleton Butts, April 1, 1841.