“I’d no idea this house was so small,” said Mrs. Scragmore.  “I’m afraid the Waddledots haven’t made so great a catch, after all.  I hope poor Juley will be happy, for I nursed her when a baby, but I never saw such an ugly pattern for a stair-carpet in my born days;” and with these favourable impressions of their dear friends the Applebites, the Scragmores descended the steps of No. 24, Pleasant-terrace, and then ascended those of No. 5436 hackney-coach.

About ten months after their union, Collumpsion was observed to have a more jaunty step and smiling countenance, which—­as his matrimonial felicity had been so frequently pronounced perfect—­puzzled his friends amazingly.  Indeed, some were led to conjecture, that his love for Juliana Theresa was not of the positive character that he asserted it to be; for when any inquiries were made after her health, his answer had invariably been, of late, “Why, Mrs. A.—­is—­not very well;” and a smile would play about his mouth, as though he had a delightful vision of a widower-hood.  The mystery was at length solved, by the exhibition of sundry articles of a Lilliputian wardrobe, followed by an announcement in the Morning Post, under the head of

    “Births.—­Yesterday morning, the lady of Agamemnon Collumpsion
    Applebite, Esq., of a son and heir.”

Pleasant-terrace was strawed from one end to the other; the knocker of 24 was encased in white kid, a doctor’s boy was observed to call three times a-day, and a pot-boy twice as often.

Collumpsion was in a seventh heaven of wedded bliss.  He shook hands with everybody—­thanked everybody—­invited everybody when Mrs. A. should be better, and noted down in his pocket-book what everybody prescribed as infallible remedies for the measles, hooping-cough, small-pox, and rashes (both nettle and tooth)—­listened for hours to the praises of vaccination and Indian-rubber rings—­pronounced Goding’s porter a real blessing to mothers, and inquired the price of boys’ suits and rocking-horses!

In this state of paternal felicity we must leave him till our next.

* * * * *

TO CAPITALISTS.

It is rumoured that Macready is desirous of disposing of his “manners” previous to becoming manager, when he will have no further occasion for them.  They are in excellent condition, having been very little used, and would be a desirable purchase for any one expecting to move within the sphere of his management.

* * * * *

REASON’S NE PLUS ULTRA.

  A point impossible for mind to reach—­
  To find the meaning of a royal speech.

* * * * *

AN APPROPRIATE NAME.

The late Queen of the Sandwich Islands, and the first convert to Christianity in that country, was called Keopalani, which means—­“the dropping of the clouds from Heaven.”