Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, August 14, 1841 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 58 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, August 14, 1841.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, August 14, 1841 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 58 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, August 14, 1841.

“Do you perceive how much I am struck by your beauty?”—­by twisting the tip of his right moustache with the finger and thumb of the corresponding hand.  If the gentleman be unprovided with these foreign appendages, the right ear must be substituted.

The lady replies by an affirmative signal, or the contrary:—­e.g. “Yes,” the lady arranges her bouquet with the left hand.  “No,” a similar operation with the right hand.  Assuming the answer to have been favourable, the gentleman, by slowly throwing back his head, and gently drawing up his stock with the left hand, signals—­

“How do you like this style of person?”

The lady must instantly lower her eyelids, and appear to count the sticks of her fan, which will express—­“Immensely.”

The gentleman then thrusts the thumb of his left-hand into the arm-hole of his waistcoat, taps three times carelessly with his fingers upon his chest.  By this signal he means to say—­

“How is your little heart?”

The lady plucks a leaf out of her bouquet, and flings it playfully over her left shoulder, meaning thereby to intimate that her vital organ is “as free as that.”

The gentleman, encouraged by the last signal, clasps his hands, and by placing both his thumbs together, protests that “Heaven has formed them for each other.”

Whereupon the lady must, unhesitatingly, touch the fourth finger of her left hand with the index finger of the right; by which emphatic signal she means to say—­“No nonsense, though?”

The gentleman instantly repels the idea, by expanding the palms of both hands, and elevating his eyebrows.  This is the point at which he should make the most important signal in the code.  It is done by inserting the finger and thumb of the right hand into the waistcoat pocket, and expresses, “What metal do you carry?” or, more popularly, “What is the amount of your banker’s account?”

The lady replies by tapping her fan on the back of her left hand; one distinct tap for every thousand pounds she possesses.  If the number of taps be satisfactory to the gentleman, he must, by a deep inspiration, inflate his lungs so as to cause a visible heaving of his chest, and then, fixing his eyes upon the chandelier, slap his forehead with an expression of suicidal determination.  This is a very difficult signal, which will require some practice to execute properly.  It means—­

“Pity my sad state!  If you refuse to love me, I’ll blow my miserable brains out.”  The lady may, by shaking her head incredulously, express a reasonable doubt that the gentleman possesses any brains.

After a few more preliminary signals, the lover comes to the point by dropping his gloves on the floor, thereby beseeching the lady to allow him to offer her his hand and fortune.

To which she, by letting fall her handkerchief, replies—­

“Ask papa and mamma.”

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, August 14, 1841 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.