“What romance is that which outght to be most admired in the kitchen?”

ANSWER BY THEODORE HOOK.

“Don Quixote; because it was written by Cervantes—­(servantes).—­Rather low, Sir Ned.”

QUESTION BY LADY BLESSINGTON,

“When is a lady’s neck not a neck?”

ANSWER BY LADY MORGAN.

“For shame now!—­When it is a little bare (bear), I suppose.”

* * * * *

A SPEECH FROM THE HUSTINGS.

The following is a correct report of a speech made by one of the candidates at a recent election in the north of England.

THOMAS SMITH, Esq., then presented himself, and said—­” * * * * * * * * crisis * * * * * * * * * * * * * important dreadful * * * * * industry * * * * * * enemies * * slaves * * independence * * * * * * freedom * * * * * firmly * * * * gloriously * * * * contested * * * * * * support * * * * victory, Hurrah!——­”

Mr. Smith then sat down; but we regret that the uproar which prevailed, prevents us giving a fuller report of his very eloquent and impressive speech.

* * * * *

FASHIONABLE MOVEMENTS.

COUNT D’ORSAY declares that no gentleman having the slightest pretensions to fashionable consideration can be seen out of doors except on a Sunday, as on that day bailiffs and other low people keep at home.

* * * * *

EPIGRAM ON A VERY LARGE WOMAN.

    “All flesh is grass,” so do the Scriptures say;
    But grass, when cut and dried, is turned to hay;
  Then, lo; if Death to thee his scythe should take,
  God bless us! what a haycock thou wouldst make.

* * * * *

An author that lived somewhere has such a brilliant wit, that he contracted to light the parish with it, and did it.

“Our church clock,” say the editors of a down-cast paper, “keeps time so well that we get a day out of every week by it.”

A man in Kentucky has a horse which is so slow, that his hind legs always get first to his journey’s end.

* * * * *