Peck's Compendium of Fun eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 246 pages of information about Peck's Compendium of Fun.

As she stopped, while the organist got in a little work, she turned her head, opened her mouth and blew out her breath with a “whoosh,” to cool her mouth.  The audience saw her wipe a tear away, but did not hear the sound of her voice as she “whooshed.”  She wiped out some of the pepper with her handkerchief and sang the other verses with a good deal of fervor, and the choir sat down, all of the members looking at the soprano.

She called for water, the noble tenor went and got it for her, and after she had drank a couple of quarts, she whispered to him:  “Young man, I will get even with you for that peppermint candy if I have to live a thousand years, and don’t you forget it,” and then they all sat down and looked pious, while the minister preached a most beautiful sermon on “Faith.”  We expect that tenor will be blowed through the roof some Sunday morning, and the congregation will wonder what he is in such a hurry for.

SUPREME COURT JUDGES AND U.S.  SENATORS.

I would call your attention to a change that it seems to me should be made in the method of selecting U.S.  Senators and Supreme Judges.  Heretofore it has been noticeable that the men who carried the longest pole knocked down the senatorial persimmons.  In the matter of the election of Judges of the Supreme Court, it has been the practice to secure men for those places at an enormous salary, when other men would be willing to do the work and board themselves.  The suggestion I would make is that you pass a law letting the offices of United States Senator and Judges of the Supreme Court to the lowest bidder.  This method will be economical and will secure to the state men who can legislate and judge things well enough for all practical purposes.  The way times are now we must get things at panic prices or go without.

OUR CHRISTIAN NEIGHBORS HAVE GONE.

It pains us to announce that the Young Men’s Christian Association, which has had rooms on two sides of our office for more than a year, has moved away.  We do not know why they moved, as we have tried to do everything it was possible to do for their comfort, and to cheer them in their lonely life.  That their proximity to the Sun office has been beneficial to them we are assured, and the closeness has not done us any hurt as we know of.

Many times when something has happened that, had it happened in La Crosse, might have caused us to be semi-profane, instead of giving way to the fiery spirit within us, and whooping it up, we have thought of our neighbors who were truly good, and have turned the matter over to our business manager, who would do the subject justice or burst a flue.

When the young Christians have given a sociable, we have always put on a resigned and pious expression and gone amongst them about the time the good bald-headed brother brought up the pail full of coffee, and the cheerful sister cut the cake.

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Peck's Compendium of Fun from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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