Peck's Compendium of Fun eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 246 pages of information about Peck's Compendium of Fun.
under protest however, and after a light was lit there was seen about the maddest man in the world.  He took a candle and went down after the doughnuts, and after running his hand into a jar of preserved peaches, and another of pickled pig’s feet, he struck the right one, and after hot grease from the candle had run down his fingers he came up with a doughnut, and then the baby wouldn’t eat it, then he sat down side-ways in a cushioned chair, applied arnica and swore till daylight.  A single shot was heard in the cellar that morning, and the young life of that cat went out.  As he rode down on the street car the next morning, people marvelled that he should stand up on the back platform, when there were so many vacant seats, and when a neighbor asked him to be seated he said, with a yawn, “No thank you, I have been sitting down a good deal during the night,” and he looked mad.  It is such things that drive men to commit crimes.

TAKE YOUR LATIN STRAIGHT.

The school board, at its last session adopted the following rule:  “The continental system of pronounciation shall be taught in the high schools of La Crosse, and no other allowed except by direction of board of education.”  We are glad the rule has been adopted, as there is no doubt that the continental system is the best.  We have been pained beyond measure, as no doubt all of the school board have, at hearing the scholars pronounce Latin by ’tother system.  No longer ago than last Saturday, when we were in Mons. Anderson’s, a girl came in and asked for a pair of Latin corsets, by the Onalaska system of pronounciation.  The clerk, not understanding, went and got a pair of those undershirts and drawers, complete in one number, with no tale to be continued.  The girl blushed, the clerk did not understand, and we had to explain by the continental system, and the girl got her corsets, but suppose there had not been a Latin scholar standing around there waiting for his wife to buy a package of safty pins, what a predicament the girl would have been in.  On behalf of the people, THE SUN thanks the board of education for adopting the continental system of pronounciation, only they ought to go further, and make it a crime punishable with suicide for anybody to pronounce it in any other way.  There has been suffering enough by pronouncing it the old way.

PECK’S BAD BOY AND HIS PA.

HE IS TOO HEALTHY.

“There, I knew you would get into trouble,” said the grocery man to the bad boy, as a policeman came along leading him by the ear, the boy having an empty champagne bottle in one hand, and a black eye.  “What has he been doing Mr. Policeman?” asked the grocery man, as the policeman halted with the boy in front of the store.

“Well, I was going by a house up here when this kid opened the door with a quart bottle of champagne, and he cut the wire and fired the cork at another boy, and the champagne went all over the sidewalk, and some of it went on me, and I knew there was something wrong, cause champagne is too expensive to waste that way, and he said he was running the shebang and if I would bring him here you would say he was all right.  If you say so I will let him go.”

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Peck's Compendium of Fun from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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