Peck's Compendium of Fun eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 246 pages of information about Peck's Compendium of Fun.

The traveling men filed out through the smiles of the ladies and went to the hotel, while half the congregation went forward to the anxious seat, to “view the remains.”  It is safe to say that it will be unsafe, in the future, to speak disparagingly of traveling men in Green Bay, as long as the memory of that blockade Sunday remains green with the good people there.

ANNA DICKINSON.

Anna Dickinson is going upon the stage again and is to play male characters, such as “Hamlet,” “Macbeth,” and “Claude Melnotte.”  We have insisted for years that Anna Dickinson was a man, and we dare anybody to prove to the contrary.  There is one way to settle this matter, and that is when she plays Hamlet.  Let the stage manager put a large spider in the skull of Yorick, and when Hamlet takes up the skull and says, “Alas, poor Yorick, I was pretty solid with him,” let the spider crawl out of one of the eye holes onto Hamlet’s hand, and proceed to walk up Miss Dickinson’s sleeve.  If Hamlet simply shakes the spider off, and goes on with the funeral unconcerned, then Miss Dickinson is a man.  But if Hamlet screams bloody murder, throws the skull at the grave digger, falls over into the grave, tears his shirt, jumps out of the grave and shakes his imaginary skirts, gathers them up in his hands and begins to climb up the scenes like a Samantha cat chased by a dog, and gets on top of the first fly and raises Hamlet’s back and spits, then Miss Dickinson is a woman.  The country will watch eagerly for the result of this test, which we trust will be made at the Boston Theatre next week.

EXPEDITION IN SEARCH OF A DOUGHNUT.

“’Twas midnight’s holy hour, and silence was brooding like a gentle spirit o’er the still and pulseless world.”  Not a sound was heard, except Robert’s dog baying at a sorrel haired young man and a muchmussed girl, who were returning home from a suburban picnic.  As they passed out of hearing, and the dog was peacefully cannibalizing on a link of sausage that had been condemned by the board of health, owing to a piece of brass padlock that showed through the silky nickel plating made of fiddling string material, a soft cry of a child was heard in an upper room of a mansion owned by a prosperous business man.  The head of the house heard it and sat up in bed to still the small voice, but couldn’t, when the mother of the child said that she had forgotten to bring up anything for the child to eat in the night, and she must go down cellar and get a doughnut.  The man said he could never stay there and enjoy himself in bed and think of his wife, groping around in the dark below stairs after it.  After telling him that he would probably come up with a pickle, ehe let him go.  Carefully he got out of bed, in an angelic frame of mind and a night shirt, and barefooted he prepared to make the descent.  As he stopped to hold one foot in his hand, the instep of which had

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Peck's Compendium of Fun from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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