of making such a fuss about a few cats. Ma said
she never wanted to have my company again, ’cause
I spoiled everything. But I got even with Pa
for basting me, this morning, and I dassent go home.
You see Ma has got a great big bath sponge as big as
a chair cushion, and this morning I took the sponge
and filled it with warm water, and took the feather
cushion out of the chair Pa sits in at the table, and
put the sponge in its place, and covered it over with
the cushion cover, and when we all got set down to
the table Pa came in and sat down on it to ask a blessing.
He started in by closing his eyes and placing his hands
up in front of him like the letter V, and then he
began to ask that the food we were about to partake
off be blessed, and then he was going on to ask that
all of us be made to see the error of our ways, when
he began to hitch around, and he opened one eye and
looked at me, and I looked as pious as a boy can look
when he knows the pancakes are getting cold, and Pa
he kind of sighed and said ‘Amen’ sort
of snappish, and he got up and told Ma he didn’t
feel well, and she would have to take his place and
pass around the sassidge and potatoes, and he looked
kind of scart and went out with his hand on his pistol
pocket, as though he would like to shoot, and Ma she
got up and went around and sat in Pa’s chair.
The sponge didn’t hold more than half a pail
full of water, and I didn’t want to play no
joke on Ma, cause the cats nearly broke her up, but
she sat down and was just going to help me, when she
rung the bell and called the hired girl, and said
she felt as though her neuralgia was coming on, and
she would go to her room, and told the girl to sit
down and help Hennery. The girl sat down and
poured me out some coffee, and then she said, ’Howly
Saint Patrick, but I blave those pancakes are burning,’
and she went out in the kitchen. I drank my coffee,
and then took the big sponge out of the chair and
put the cushion in the place of it, and then I put
the sponge in the bath room, and I went up to Pa and
Ma’s room, and asked them if I should go after
the doctor, and Pa had changed his clothes and got
on his Sunday pants, and he said, ‘never mind
the doctor, I guess we will pull through,’ and
for me to get out and go to the devil, and I came over
here. Say, there is no harm in a little warm
water, is there? Well, I’d like to know
what Pa and Ma and the hired girl thought. I am
the only real healthy one there is in our family.”
THREE INCHES OF LEG.
Blanche Williams, of Philadelphia, who met with an
accident at Fairmount Water-works, by which one leg
was broken, and rendered three inches shorter than
the rest of her legs, has recovered $10,000 damages.
It would seem, to the student of nature, to be a pretty
good price for three inches of ordinary leg, but then
some people will make such a fuss.
MORE DANGEROUS THAN KEROSENE.