with Pa, cause Ma was called away to attend a baby
matinee in the night. I don’t know how it
is, but there never is anybody in our part of town
that has a baby but they have it in the night, and
they send for Ma. I don’t know what she
has to be sent for every time for. Ma ain’t
to blame for all the young ones in this town, but she
has got up a reputashun, and when we hear the bell
ring in the night Ma gets up and begins to put on
her clothes, and the next morning she comes in the
dining room with a shawl over her head, and says,
’its a girl and weighs ten pounds,’ or
‘a boy,’ if it’s a boy baby.
Ma was out on one of her professional engagements,
and I got in bed with Pa. I had heard Pa blame
Ma about her cold feet, so I got a piece of ice about
as big as a raisin box, just zactly like one of Ma’s
feet, and laid it right against the small of Pa’s
back. I couldn’t help laffing, but pretty
soon Pa began to squirm and he said, ’Why’n
’ell don’t you warm them feet before you
come to bed,’ and then he hauled back his leg
and kicked me clear out in the middle of the floor,
and said if he married again he would marry a woman
who had lost both her feet in a railroad accident.
Then I put the ice back in the bed with Pa and went
to my room, and in the morning Pa said he sweat more’n
a pail full in the night. Well, you must excuse
me. I have an engagement to shovel snow off the
sidewalk. But before I go, let me advise you
not to drink aignogg, and don’t sell tom cats
for rabbits,” and he got out of the door just
in time to miss the rutabaga that the grocery man
threw at him.
WHAT THE DEMOCRATS WILL DO.
The Wisconsin asks, “What will the Democrats
do?” We trust it is not betraying a confidence
reposed in us by the manager of a party, but we can
not allow our neighbor to remain in such dense ignorance,
as long as we are possessed of the desired information.
“What will the Democrats do?” The Democrats
will prove an alibi!
A SEWING MACHINE GIVEN TO THE BOSS GIRL.
In response to a request from W.T. Vankirk, George
W. Peck presented the Rock County Agricultural Society
with a sewing machine, to be given to the “boss
combination girl” of Rock County. With the
machine he sent the following letter, which explains
his meaning of a “combination girl,” etc.:
MILWAUKEE, June 7, 1881.
W.T. VANKIRK—Dear Sir: Your
letter, in reference to giving some kind of a premium
to somebody, at your County Fair, is received, and
I have been thinking it over. I have brought
my massive intellect to bear upon the subject, with
the follow result:
I ship you to-day, by express, a sewing machine, complete,
with cover, drop leaf, hemmer, tucker, feller, drawers,
and everything that a girl wants, except corsets and
tall stockings. Now, I want you to give that to
the best “combination girl” in Rock County,
with the compliments of the Sun.